I, Sirius Black, Formally Declare War on the Poltergeist

Chapter 9 - James Potter Exhibits Characteristics Other than "Arrogant"

CHAPTER 9 - JAMES POTTER EXHIBITS CHARACTERISTICS OTHER THAN "ARROGANT" and REMUS LUPIN EXHIBITS PERSONALITY OTHER THAN "NERD"

"I really can't tell you how grateful we are for convincing your father of our inherently good characters," Sirius said to the portrait in front of him. He was sitting against the stone wall in the corridor James had found just over a week ago while waiting for Sirius to finish up his existential crisis with Andromeda, with his head propped up on his chin, staring at Imelda Napoleti with a dopey grin on his face. She looked at him, skeptical, but amused.

"No, really!" Sirius said emphatically, "Imelda, darling, you have no idea how much trouble this has saved us from."

A couple metres away from him, James was furiously taking notes down on parchment as Aloysius gave him directions to the latest secret passageway.

"But you don't know which one it is?" James checked, staring in concentration at his little makeshift map.

"Well, yes, I said that, didn't I? Isn't that what I just said?" Napoleti glanced at his daughter, as if all his problems were her fault, "I swear, on all things holy, Imelda, these children have got to be the most idiodic pair I have ever met. Always repeating things back to me, you'd think they were deaf!"

"Funnily enough," Sirius said cheerily, "We are not deaf. In fact, we can hear just about everything you say about us. I'm so glad you hold us in such high regard."

Napoleti made a face.

"Imelda, remind me again why you force me to entertain them?" he complained.

"You haven't interacted with the student body in over a hundred years," James piped up, pausing his scratching, "Imelda says it's good for you."

"I highly doubt that," Napoleti grumbled. Sirius grinned. This man was, without a doubt, his favorite thing in the castle so far. A grumpy old Italian man with a cross on a chain around his neck, Aloysius Napoleti resided in a corridor not often travelled by Hogwarts students, guarding a long-forgotten passageway that let out right near the courtyard.

Sirius and James had found themselves returning to the corridor in an effort to avoid Peeves, who was madly obsessed with McKinnon and Evans, and by extension anyone who was even remotely associated. Aloysius hadn't been bothered by Peeves for almost as long as he hadn't interacted with the student body, and wasn't eager to break his streak. So, in a moment of desperation, he invited the boys through his secret passageway, eager to get them out of sight before Peeves rounded the corner. Sirius and James had been unable to let it go, and frequently returned to pick the old man's brain about the castle's secrets.

"Is the poltergeist still bothering you boys?" Imelda asked politely. Aloysius' daughter was half the reason the two boys kept coming back, as she claimed to greatly enjoy their company and got on her father's nerves almost as often as Sirius and James did. (Although, to be fair, Sirius and probably James, too, did it deliberately. Sirius really got a kick out of pushing the old man's buttons).

"Actually," Sirius said, pushing himself off the ground as he saw James rolling up his parchment, "He hasn't been nearly as bad this week. I quite miss it, to be honest. I thought the whole thing was good fun."

"I know, it's so disappointing," James agreed, "Sirius and I had this whole plan, too, to give him a good knock on the head next time he tried to mess with us."

"Why the hell would you need to do that?" Aloysius spluttered, failing to keep himself from being involved in the conversation, "Isn't the whole point of -- of this to help you two get away from Peeves without physical force?"