Big Brother Johnny

Big Brother Johnny: One Shot

     Music is blaring in your apartment when you hear your front door slam shut. Any other person living alone would worry at the noise, but you know only one person that would let themselves into your home in broad daylight while Celtic punk is pounding. Plus, your neglected phone has been buzzing since last night, the same smirking face in sunglasses flashing across the screen almost three times an hour.
     "Oi! What the bloody hell is all this!" You hear John yell from your front door. John Constantine had barreled into your life, quite literally, a few years back when you had been chased down by some thugs while trying to navigate the dark side of town in one of your depression fueled meltdowns. You ran into him as he was running the opposite way from another gang who was not to pleased with him cleaning out a poker match. After you both escaped your pursuers (after jumping some fences and losing them out the back of a Walmart) you two had formed an unlikely friendship. You helped him when he had jobs nearby and needed a place to crash and he helped you when your emotional issues reached the dark parts of your mind. Today he was there due to the latter of the two.
     "Oh hey John!" You yell over the music, still bouncing to the beat, large coffee in hand. "What'd you come here for? Working and need a place to crash? Clear out a poker tourney again? Laying low from who-now and whats-its? Which is it?" You say in quick succession, the caffeine and punk music surging through your veins.
     "None of that love." John replies, finding the remote to your stereo and turning off the music. "I got your message and figured you'd need some company. Seems I showed up a bit late though, ey?" He says, gesturing around him. Your apartment was a wreck, clothes strewn about everywhere, papers and markers on nearly every flat surface, coffee cups emptied and piling in the trash.
     "Message? I sent you a message?" You say, taking a long swing out of the cup in your hands. "Oh! That's why you kept texting me!" You say loudly, surprised at your own train of thought.
     "Aye, I have." He grumbles, obviously aware of your current manic state. "When your lass sends you; "Darkness getting bigger, not sure if I can hold out this time. Best of luck to you.", a lad gets a bit worried. What the bloody hell have you been doing love?"
     "Oh THAT!" You say, suddenly remembering the previous night. "Well, my mind started going dark again, you know, the regular good ole' depression shit again and then I had the idea to get some coffee before I decided to kick the bucket. Then I remembered COFFEE IS GREAT!"
     "Yeah, figured that from the dozen cups in your bin." John says, eyeing your trash warily. "Love, you realize you're doing it again, right?" He asks, taking off his trench coat and draping it across the nearest chair while stepping over clothes to come near you.
     "Doing what?" You ask, oblivious to your current state. You don't realize your bouncing on the balls of your feet until John places his hands on your shoulders, effectively holding you in place.
     "Love, you've gone manic again." John says softly, knowing all to well how your mood can snap in your current state. "When was the last time you took your meds? And tell Johnny the truth." You then try very hard to look anywhere but at him, confirming his fears. He sighs heavily. "I thought so. We've talked about this, haven't we?" He says, older brother tone in his voice. Now you know you're in trouble.
     "I KNOW, but I thought I was doing okay so I put off getting my refills." You respond quietly, knowing what's coming your way. You hate it when John lectures you, but deep down you know he only does it because he cares. Your surprised when instead of diving headfirst into chastising you, he pulls you into a breath stealing hug and nuzzles his face into the top of your hair.
     "You really riled me up this time love." He says quietly. "Thought I was gonna walk in to you on the floor in a puddle. M'just glad you didn't end up hurting yourself this time."
     "Umm..." you try to move your arm behind your back, but John's large hand catches your wrist before you can and he pulls back from you, eyeing your face warily before looking down at your arm.
     "Bloody hell love, the fuck d'you do to yourself?" He says, tone full of anger and worry.
     "I...may have gotten a bit to close to my craft scissors." You respond quietly, knowing he's looking at the bright red lines crisscrossing on the top of your forearm. "But I didn't break the skin! I just pushed down on them a bit...."
     "A bit. A BIT! Your arm looks like a giant fuckin crossword puzzle!" John yells. You flinch and he immediately drops your wrist, sighing heavily. "That's it. You've lost alone privileges. Till I know you're stable and safe to leave on your own, you get ole' Johnny as a chaperone." He says, grabbing you by the shoulders and easily picking you up before plopping you down on your couch.
     "I don't need a fucking babysitter John!" You yell at him.
     "Clearly you do love!" He yells back. "Look around! Your place's a wreck and you look like you haven't slept in days."
     "Like your one to badger anyone on not sleeping, Constantine!" You snap back angrily, "and who the hell said you get to act like my fucking big brother?!"
     "ME that's fuckin who! You're the one person on this damned planet that deals with my shit, so you don't get to decide when you need help!" John yells, frustration emanating off him. "I've been helping you deal with this for years, and you bloody well don't get to just up and sod off on me!"
     "FINE!"
     "FINE!" He yells. With an exasperated sigh, he begins to go around gathering up your clothes as you pout on the couch, arms pulled up around your legs. You didn't want to admit it, but now that you were coming down from your coffee high, your mind began to come back to reality. What had set you off last night? You couldn't even remember at this point. All you knew was you had reached a breaking point and had it not been for the caffeine you might have finally snapped. The small rational part of your brain must have realized your self-destructive idea and made you message John. It wasn't until John had finished cleaning up your place the best he could, him finding and taking anything sharp along the way and shoving it angrily into his beat up old bag, that you realized you were shaking. You vaguely heard John on the phone with someone, probably Richie, telling them he'd be with you until you were better when a loud thump brought your attention back to the room. You hadn't realized it, but in your dazed state you had moved off balance and fallen off the couch onto the floor without even realizing it. John's concerned face came around the corner and he quickly rushed over to check on you.
     "Fuck! What happened now?" He said picking you up and placing you on the couch facing him. You didn't answer though. You just kept staring past him, your mind in the dark corners of your subconscious. "Love, can you hear me? Come 'mon lass, say something." You feel Johns warm hand cup your face and you slowly come back to reality. As you make eye contact, you see the worry in his eyes at your disconnected state.
     "John," you say quietly, "I think I'm losing it." Tears start falling from your face and soon your in his lap blubbering like an infant, all your emotions flooding your mind at once. John says nothing, only grabs one of your sherpa blankets from the back of your couch and gently wrapping it around you. He's all to familiar with your breakdowns and knows how to try and help you.
     "Your not losing it love. Just breathe." He says softly, holding you in his arms like he's afraid you'll fall apart if he doesn't. "Breathe and let big brother Johnny help you. I know you might hate me right now but I'm not goin anywhere."
     "I don't hate you John." You finally choke out over tears. "I just hate that you have to do this. I HATE that I make you do this."
     "Nobody makes John Constantine do ANYTHING love. I'm here because your like family to me, and I'm not going 'ta let my family get hurt anymore." He says, smirking. You look up and he gently wipes away the trails of tears from your face, your body still slightly shaking.
     "Family?" You say, surprised at his tone. John was many things, but emotionally open was not one of them and this was the closest you've ever been to seeing him with his walls down.
     "Aye, family. Why d'you think I put up with watching your cruddy TV shows when I'm here?" He says raising an eyebrow at you, making you laugh softly.
     "Hey, they're not all bad. Some of them are decent." You retort.
     "Love, last time I was here you made me watch some rubbish about a cartoon lad who lives with rock-people." He shudders at the memory, making you laugh out loud.
     "Hey, don't you call the Crystal Gems rock-people, that's offensive. And that show isn't THAT bad, it has catchy songs." You smile, starting to feel better than you have in days.
     "Yeah, come off it." John says, taking his shoes off and moving to lean against the arm of your couch, letting you spread out on top of him. Your head ends up right above his heart, the steady beat lulling yours, one of his hands running through your hair and the other grabbing the remote for your television. "So, what will I be forced to endure this time?" He asks, knowing without asking that watching television distracts you enough to help you out of a manic episode.
     "Switch it to Hulu mister, it's time you were introduced to anime." You say, focusing on John's heartbeat and breathing to help ground yourself.
     "That's the green one, right?" He asks, clearly still not used to watching anything other than local television.
     "Yeah," you giggle "the green one. It's back to school time and I'm taking you to UA."
     "I haven't the foggiest idea of what the hell your talkin about love. Must warn ye' though, never really been one for school." He smirks, his other arm wrapping around you once to tell him which show to pick.
     "Hey John." You says, not taking your eyes off the screen.
     "Yeah love?" He asks, looking down at you. You then look up at him and smile.
     "Thank you. For everything." You say, your eyes telling him your feelings are genuine.
     "S'nothing lass. Anything to keep your scrappy self around." He says, softly kissing your forehead. "Now, tell me why that green-haired bloke looks so obsessed with that walking tree." He says, looking highly confused. You laugh at his expression and snuggle into him more, knowing your inner demons from earlier will soon be a distant memory. After all, what demon would be dumb enough to stay around John Constantine.