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Deep down, (y/n) knew he was fooling himself. He was pretending he didn't know, lying, but the truth was obvious; he and Izana felt different things. While (y/n) was practically giving his heart in a golden plate to Izana, the white-haired male didn't really care. Their major relationship mas pretty much consisted on casual sex, a fling, maybe friends with benefits, but were they even friends in the first place?
(y/n) was the guy that Izana would go to when he felt the need for sex, or just someone disposed to listen, and that was it. The white-haired male didn't pay mind to (l/n) and didn't care enough to tell him that what they have would never become more than a fling. Izana didn't feel anything for (y/n), and the (h/c) haired boy knew.
When (l/n) heard his door being knocked at that hour of the night, he had an idea of who could it be. He went to the door, unlocking and opening it, getting face to face with Izana, that had a serious face.
- What took you so long? - Asked the white-haired male, entering the house, questioning why did the (h/c) haired male didn't answered the door quickly like always.
- It's almost 1 AM, I was sleeping. - He answered plainly, which made Izana slightly frown.
- Yeah, right. - The man started to take off his coat, feeling (e/c) eyes linger longer on his body, causing him to look at the male close to him. - What?
- Why are you here? - (l/n)'s voice seemed to have some kind of solemnity, and the white-haired male wasn't quite used to that.
- Isn't obvious? - He asked, approaching (y/n), his hands traveling on the male's chest, entwining with each other behind (l/n)'s neck. The (h/c) haired male smiled, which kind of surprised Izana, maybe considering that the male wasn't in the mood. He didn't realize it wasn't a happy smile.
Feeling himself being kissed, Izana responded to it, his eyes closing, lips moving with desire. When he felt (y/n)'s tongue entering his mouth, he tightened the grip of his arms around (l/n), fighting, or at least trying, for dominance. His body was lifted by strong hands, being put against the wall, his legs having the need to enlace themselves around (y/n)'s waist.
Their bodies started to gradually heat, actions more desperate with time, taking their clothes off almost as if their lives depended on it. Totally naked, (y/n) pressed Izana's warm body against the wall, his (e/c) eyes taking the male's breathless, blushing state, with a glint of sadness on them.
Kissing him again, (y/n) felt Kurokawa's hands on him, so he took them into his, not so tightly, putting them against the wall, not allowing him to use them. He used his lips to feel the white-haired male's skin, his usual scent entering (l/n)'s nostrils, slowly affecting his brain with what the male wished he didn't feel.
Sighs and hushes, closed eyes to feel better, red lips tasting his skin. That's what Izana wished; the cloudy state of his mind, not thinking about anything else. His thing with (y/n) started months ago, and he asked himself when the boy would finally realize. He was just using him, nothing else. He didn't need a lover, he just needed someone who made him forget, and for now, that was (l/n).
When his hands were freed again, someone lifted him, his back still against the wall, but he wouldn't open his eyes now, not yet. Being prepared was the part he liked less but knew that if it wasn't done, the pain would be unbearable; so why did he wish he could feel the pain this time?
- D-don't prepare me. - His mind was still slightly hazy, but he asked that to (l/n), that normally would get worried about his wish, but on that day, he didn't question it.
Izana asked himself if he deserved the pain. Was it a self-punishment, for maybe not feeling anything? Because he didn't feel. He didn't feel sorry for anything that he had ever done, he would do it again, even if it meant hurt everyone again; even if it meant to hurt his family. I mean, he never really had a family to begin with.
(y/n) entered him slowly, and a groan of pain was everything he was able to express. It felt as if he was being stabbed, the burning sensation spreading through his body, but he didn't want to open his eyes yet. He slightly scratched the skin of the male inside of him, trying to bear with the pain.
(e/c) eyes never left Izana, watching him while he could. (l/n) wished it didn't have to be like that, but it was. His hands gripped hard on Kurokawa's waist, trying to get used to how tight he was with no preparations. He wished to know why he wanted to skip that part, but as the last time they would do that, (y/n) decided to give him whatever he wanted.
When the white-haired signed he could move, that's what he did, steadying his breath, and moving inside of the male, with a slow pace, seeing it was difficult to speed things at that moment.
"Where were them?", it's what Izana thought when even after they started, none of (y/n)'s usual words for him were there. There were no compliments, no try of reassurance, no question of discomfort. There was no care on (l/n)'s actions this time, mainly when his hips thrust deep and hard on Kurokawa's.
Maybe deep down the white-haired male could feel that it wasn't like the other times, but he preferred to keep his eyes closed, feeling more of (l/n)'s actions on him, more of his own pleasure.
When the (h/c) haired boy hit deeper, Izana's moans got a different intonation, an indication of (y/n) hitting close to his sweet spot. This time hitting the right spot dead-on, he felt Izana's legs tighten around him, bringing him closer, moaning right next to his ear, inciting him more.
He moaned, grunted, whispered nonsenses, but (l/n) could see how his eyes never opened. What could he be thinking at that moment? Bitting his lips (l/n) quickened his pace, feeling the familiar burning sensation on his lower stomach.
- (y-y/n), I'm s-so ahh~ close. - All Kurokawa desired was to reach the climax he felt building with so much strength on him, but for the first time on that night, (y/n) didn't give Izana what he wanted.
Taking one of his hands from the male's waist, (l/n) used it to grip the white-haired boy's cock, tightly, not allowing him to cum just yet. For the first time in long minutes, Izana opened his eyes, looking at the male that never stopped thrusting inside of him, his eyes slowly watering, whining for his sweet release.
- Don't cum j-just yet ngh~. - (l/n) said, stuttering sometimes for the great amount of pleasure he was feeling.
Bringing Kurokawa closer, (l/n) speed his movements, in a way Izana didn't though it was possible, his prostate being hit too many times. He would have cummed already, but the hand on his cock stopped any kind of release, and it was becoming frankly unbearable.
- Hah! I c-can't- shit! - Cursing all the existent obscene words on his head, Kurokawa felt his chest hurt with how fast his heart was beating, his cock becoming red, his eyes rolling up in overwhelm.
Giving one last hard hit on Izana's sweet spot, (y/n)'s cum filling his insides, his hand letting go of the male's cock, white staining them as Izana gave a last cry before completely slumping against (l/n)'s figure.
Exhaustion took their bodies, but (y/n) tried his best to take them to his room, laying Kurokawa on the bed, throwing his own body on it soon after. During minutes, nothing was said, but the white-haired male could feel (e/c) eyes on him all the time.
- Just say what you want. - The boy said, his usual cold tone there again. (y/n) pressed his lips together, slightly apprehensive. Not for Izana, but for himself.
- This can't go on, and you know. - (l/n)'s voice was low, almost timid.
- I know. It was good while it lasted. - Kurokawa's tone didn't demonstrate he was very affected, and that made (e/c) eyes sadden, his heart squeezing on his chest.
Izana never loved him, so it was better to let him go, right?
