school. the place you're supposed to learn about life. the place you're supposed to sit in a classroom full of people you don't know and learn, but the only thing I have learned about in school is that they don't give a shit about you. they just want your grades and to get paid. they can be on your ass about shit like "don't smoke, vape, have sex, or swear" but whenever a student is nearly fucking murdered it always
"not our business" and they don't do shit.
the only thing you have thought me is that guys can't see my knees, shoulders, stomach or bare legs because it's a "distraction" you can teach us that we have to please everyone around us but you can't teach some men to have a little respect and keep it in their fucking pants. if a guy has sex with a girl he's a "legend" but if a girl had sex with a guy she's a "slut"
I'm not trying to say women deserve better then men. I just want to be equal. I don't care if you are one of the "boys🥶‼️" or think saying "I forgor 💀" is funny. I just want to feel like a person. I want to go to school and actually learn about stuff like how to act in a job interview. or how to be more responsible with money. I don't wanna learn the way a frog swallows the foot it eats. I want to learn how to make money and stuff I will use in the real world. I'm so tired of waking up every day and feeling like less of a person and more of a slave. all day I follow people's instructions like a goddam dog and I hate it. I just want to have a little fun and learn real things. I'm a teenager of course I'm not perfect but you're supposed to be our teacher and us your students. but you treat us like labrats. eat shit and die.
I never was the type to care about people. but when I saw him, I don't even know his name, but I know I want him. there was something in his eyes I never saw in anyone else. it was like he knew what I was thinking. I looked away smiling. I was smiling. I don't smile. it's gross and I hate my smile. he made me smile now I need him. I have a boyfriend, his name is cam. me and cam have been together for about 8 months now but it's mostly because our parents want us together. me and cam don't truly love each other. we just don't click. but he claims to love me.
" are you ok love?" my boyfriend cam asked sitting down next to me.
"yeah, can we go to the park?" I asked.
he shook his head "no I'm staying here, you can go." he said looking at my friend Melissa.
I grabbed my bag and walked out of class. I knew Melissa and cam liked each other but cam says he loves me.
and that makes me stay.
I slowly walk to the park across from the school.
I lay on the grass under a tree and grab a book, I don't seem like the type of person to read. but I like reading, a lot actually. I like the way I can feel the emotions as if I'm living in the book. it's like an escape from my shitty reality. this city is shit, the only thing to do is go swimming and smoke. not complaining about it however because I like the stuff I can do. the cops don't give a shit about if you steal a small thing from Spencer's or even a massive dildo from Walmart, the only thing they care about is if you're dead or missing. you can do whatever you want. even if you get caught it's not like you're going to be wanted in every state. you not the next Ted bundy.
I was deep in my thoughts when I felt someone near. I looked over and saw him again.
"hey" he said looking down at me
"hi" I look up from my book into his dark green eyes.
"can I sit here?" he asked pointing to the ground next to me
"yeah sure just don't sit in the muddy part" I said pointing to the mud on my hoodie
he laughed and took his hoodie off handing it to me. it was a black Nike hoodie. basic.
"have this one for now because it looks like you shit yourself." he said laughing.
I took mine off and put his on.
"looks better on you then it does on me" he said sitting next to me.
"I'm Jackson but you can call me kj" he said
"I'm Valerie, but you can call me V" I said looking at him smiling.
"you don't seem like the type to read?" he said making it sound like a question.
"I guess not but oh well" I say looking at my book.
he grabbed the book at looked at the cover.
"seriously? you're reading punk 57?" he said laughing.
"shut up I like it" I say trying to grab the book back.
he held on. I'm not weak but he was definitely stronger than I am.
"what are all the colorful tags for?" he asked opening to a page with a pink tab
my eyes opend wider as I remembered what the pink tabs ment. (ifykyk😏)
his smirk grew to a devilish smile as he flipped the pages. I just gave up trying to get the book back and let him read it.
"my favorite part was still the truck part" he said closing the book.
"you read? more specifically you're telling me you have read that book before?" I say a little shocked.
he grabbed his bag and pulled out
'the deal'
"I guess you could say I like to read" he said pointing at his pink tabs.
"be more creative about your colors. choose one they won't think is it, like green" he said moving his finger to a green tab.
I just laughed at my own embarrassment.
"wanna go do something fun?" he said looking up at me
"duh, as long as you don't murder me and throw me in a ditch we all good." I say looking at the ditch.
"no promises" he smiled as he started to walk towards his car. and of course I followed him. something just drew me to him. I wanna know why or how.
