Dear Diary!

His smile

Dear Diary!

On one Friday evening in the month of October, as I was reading my novel, I got a text from a friend of mine, which I would have ignored and replied later, as I usually do when I am reading novel. But, it was a text that made me, keep down that novel of mine and reply to her in a blink of an eye. It was a text informing me that my long forgotten crush of almost two years back, was in town and will be leading the worship service on Sunday!

I remember how at that moment, my heart almost leapt out of the rib cage. I was grinning from ear to ear and felt like a kid who received his/her favorite toy on their birthday. Then the vigorous text with my friend started about how excited I was, how long will he be in town, is her here only for few days or is he going to stay and with lots of what ifs. Then, as cliché as it may sound but I was wondering as to what I should be wearing for the service.  I mean I don't usually care about what I wear as long as I am comfortable but it was different this time. Perhaps, it was my long lost teenage self, who came alive after ages. Now that I think about it, it seemed lame to think about what I should wear to impress someone.

Anyways, Sunday rolled in and when I reached the church he was there. So what happened was, when I entered, I did not look at the direction where I knew he would be present, rather I went and talked to someone whom I knew. In fact, I only glanced at him when the service started, because obviously he was there in the center leading the worship team.

His smile when he sings was charming as ever. And no, I was not ogling him like a love-sick puppy, I mean, hello! it was a church service. And I think one reason I admired him was because I could see him glorifying God through his singing.

Well after the service, I did not get to speak to him. Why? Because, we were not acquainted and I can't just walk up to him and say, "Hi! I am Elin and I have a huge crush on you."

But, the story doesn't end there. So, my friend and I were invited for lunch and ahem! Guess what! He was also invited! Yeaaahhhhh!!!! AND... we were in the same car on our way to the place of the people who invited us. *blush*

He said, "Hi!" and I replied "Hi!" but that was all. *face palming* Like seriously, I wanted to hit myself at that moment. Even now, as I am writing this I am cursing myself for just ending the moment with a stupid 'Hi'. But then again, what else could I say?

Anyways, the whole ride was silence for me, on the outside, but inside I was having an internal fight with my own self.

During lunch also, not much words were exchanged between us, I mean he was talking to others who were present and the host, and I was talking to others. And through his conversation with them I came to know that he will be leaving the day after tomorrow, he injured his leg in a minor accident, and he might travel a lot in the coming days so he may visit our town.

The only longest words exchange that took place between him and I were when he asked me about where I was from, where I studies before coming to this town and about my tribe. That was all. I'll take this moment to bang my head on the desk and shed my invisible tears.

Well, that was it. With a bye we left and I came home with a heavy heart. On our way back home my friend asked me if I saw any ring on his finger, because she could did not get the opportunity to see his hand and I realized I didn't check that. But anyways, whether he is engaged or single, I know for a fact that he and I won't ever be on the same page of a love story. 

And before going to bed I have come up with few reasons why. Well, for one, I doubt he will ever consider me as a potential person to date, even though there were times when I felt like he was looking my way while we were talking after lunch. I mean, it is normal for someone to look at you when you are in a group and at some point you become the topic in the talk. And just because someone was looking your way does not mean that he was looking at you, he could be looking at anything else, right? Or I am imagining and thinking too much of a situation.

Secondly, he is way out of my league, and that was the sole reason why I gave up on him couple of years back. I mean let's just say he is on the top of the food chain while I am no where near that food chain. And that explains a lot of differences between us. Oh and I also feel that there are a lot of admirers of his and the competition seems like a lost cost.

So with a heavy heart, I have decided to let him go once again. I hope that he will excel in all that he does, pray that he will find a worthy life partner and may he be blessed.

Yours,

~El

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Author's note:

So, this is a new idea I am working on. From the many anecdotes that I have heard from my fellow friends and also my own, I thought why not use them (with their consent of course) as an inspiration to, you know, write a fiction.

Just a disclaimer that this is a work of fiction.

And was wondering if the readers would want to share their short stories under the pen name of Elin. If you are interested, do DM me.

Apart from that, I hope you enjoy the readings ahead in the coming days:)