Inside Man

Chapter Two

Jordyn

     Life wasn't the same as it'd been when I was in college. I couldn't drink all night and wake up at 8am and attend all my classes like a perfectly functioning person anymore. I didn't even have more than a few shots of Henny, yet I felt like death.

     My eyes aren't even opened yet, still being in that drunken sedation you get if you drink enough. Only reason my brain wakes up in the first place and reminds my body it should be feeling like hell is because I hear my voice somewhere. The same take of my voice, replaying itself until I finally hear someone else, Diamond.

     Slowly, my brain reminds myself of everything that happened to lead me here. Aniyah house plays in my mind, the drinking game, the stupid argument with Kennedy...Te'a, somehow all of it leading me here in the grey velvet bed with satin sheets.

     "Hey y'all it's yall fav' Authentic Diamond, back in a video with Jordyyy, say hi." The clips replays again. I hear my voice in the background, dry and bored before Diamond put the camera back on herself. "She not being nice to me y'all."

     I finally have enough freedom and mobility from the drunk slumber to pry my eyes open. Looking over at her laptop I see the footage we recorded this weekend for Diamond's Youtube    channel.

     I watch her play the same clips several times, cutting them to precision like the perfectionist she was. Satisfied, a new clip came into view. This time, it started off on a new day, somewhere identical to where we both were now, in Diamond's bed yet with a camera filming. I'm not as drunk in the video, but I'd just woken up. Diamond, dressed for the day aims the camera at me, teasing her subscribers with hints that we were back together.

     I wasn't a stranger to the social media influencer thing, knowing how the game went for myself. Sometimes when you hint at certain things, or tease the fans with the possibility of collabs with their other favorite creators, it sparked views and thus money. I didn't mind popping up in a couple of Diamond's videos, especially since we was cool and it worked in both our favors. I did however want frequency to be considered.

     "You think it's a good idea to have the clip of us in bed together? What if fans get ideas in they head about shit." Being hyper-visible online, sometimes it's inevitable to have a scandal. I had a few, all surrounding the same thing. I'd have a fling I really fucked with, but being in videos with other creators would fuck it up. People would assume I was playing one of 'em. People would make videos subbing me, claiming shit wasn't exactly what it was, just content. I vibed with Diamond, and didn't think she'd be like that, but when enough people point out the same shit it's hard not to buy into it. I'd hate to see another falling out over some avoidable shit.

     "Ideas about what? My brand is Authentic Diamond, meaning I have a duty to my fans to keep it as cute and authentic as possible. Meaning if i'm waking up next to Jordyn every morning in my routine vlogs, then it's getting shown." If there was a way to argue down her point, she'd never let me win. So I let go of the battle, having no choice but to oblige.

     With Diamond though, out of all my other collabs I see myself always having fun with her. We was always on the chill shit, she matched my energy perfectly. At this point, since we was in each others videos all the time anyway, maybe we should merge on a couple channel. Before I can even think about bringing the thought to her I decide to sit on it, getting out of bed while checking my feeds.

     While heading to the bathroom it's Twitter I open first. My feed being random jokes, pretty ass girls, or tik toks. After a few scrolls though I see something from Teyira's page.

@Sweetteacarter

im single single 💯

3:32am

     I think about quoting her, nothing crazy but a simple emoji to acknowledge she was back on the market. It wasn't me shooting my shot, but I knew it would look that way. Not that I wouldn't shoot my shot with Te'a. We went to school together, tight as hell ever since the first time we met. It just never been like that with us. Not that I didn't find her attractive, or never been curious about her. We both just always had something going on. 

     In a perfect world, she not all tied up with Medinah. They was infamous for breaking up to make up. I'd hate to fuck with Te'a and start liking her for real, just for her to end up back with her ex anyway. Besides we made better friends.

     I spit out the last of my toothpaste, opening the shower door to turn the water on. I let bathroom feel up with steam while I go retrieve Diamond. She's in the same spot I left her, sitting up against her headboard while she focuses on editing.

     She had her hair thrown up in a lazy ponytail, wearing these wide framed glasses that made her look nerdy. Even with minimal effort, she still pulled it all off. Still looking as pretty as she would if she had a wig installed and a full face.

     If she noticed I'm back in the room, she pays it no mind. I go to hover over her, purposefully blocking her view of the laptop screen to kiss the side of her lips. "Hop in the shower with me," It's more of a invitation than a command. For a split second there's a look of submission, followed by hesitation. 

     "I already took one. If you didn't get here so late, you would've woke up early enough to join me then." Her focus is back on her screen as if what she said had been all left to say, like she chose her hill to die on.

     No one could irritate you more than the woman you were dealing with. They always know the slick to say to start something. Sucking my teeth in annoyance isn't my choice of a response, but that's what happens. "Me being out a problem now?" I have my own attitude to bite back with. 

     My mind instantly ran over all the cons of repeatedly messing around with the same person. Attaching is too easy, feelings bound to get caught up. Even if the rules are clear from the jump, it's almost guaranteed for someone to not play by them. 

     I liked Diamond, that wasn't in question. But I liked my freedom to be with who I wanted more. It's too much to be someone's girlfriend right now. 

     "I told you I was out with friends." It's admittedly a half truth. At the same time though I didn't care enough to commit to a better story. 

     With the lack of effort, it's not shocking when Diamond doesn't buy it. She strokes my neck with her thumb, getting a better view. "Friends that leave these on you?" She mentions the purple bruised spot Te'a must've left on me last night. 

     I didn't even try not to get caught, but feeling guilty I moved from her hold. "You the one that said you didn't want this to be a thing." 

     "I don't, and it's not," There's this pause she leaves after her words as if she wants to say more. I wait there for her a few moments, but in the end nothing is said. "...bye, Jordyn." With that she dismisses me, not even putting up the strength to argue. She goes back to editing like it's nothing at all. 

     "You got it," I return her same energy. "Imma' shower and head out."

     "Mhm,"