Kaeya x reader (im not sure what I want to call this yet)

Confusion

Last night at the tavern was heavenly...I keep thinking about it... I didn't sleep last night, my heart is still racing... I can't seem to get Kaeya out of my head. It wasn't even anything special, just a drink at the tavern, nothing else. I'm so confused... why can't I get him out of my head? He's the Captain of the knights of Favonius, and im just a basic Monstadt girl.... We wouldn't ever work, he is so busy all the time, fighting off monsters, abyss mages, and the fatui, and I just sit in Monstadt, doing pretty much nothing.

I lay on my bed, contemplating my situation. Why in Teyvat would Kaeya choose me to dance with? I keep questioning his decisions up until now. I wish I could get some answers from him, but he's a professional knight, doing professional knightly things. A knock on my door intrudes my thoughts.

"Y/n? You home?" It's Amber.

"Yes! I'm home! What do you need?" I walk towards the door.

I open the door and I see Amber and... Kaeya? Why is Kaeya with her?

"Hello, what is it you need?" I saw while standing up straight.

They both chuckle. "There's no need to be professional with us y/n, Kaeya told me about you, by the way, nice dancing, it was amazing." She winks. I let out an embarrassed chuckle. Kaeya gives Amber a bad look. He looks at me with sympathy.

"Hey Amber don't embarrass her, she's already got enough attention on her from the dance, don't add to it" Kaeya scolds.

Amber bursts out laughing. "hahahah!! Look who's getting over protective over his crush" She laughs some more. My cheeks immediately turn red. What? His crush? Does she mean me? My facial expression turns flustered. Kaeya looks at Amber like "she wasn't supposed to know that" .
My heart is racing even more, it's basically visible through my chest. I try to clear my throat to make things less awkward.

"Well then, what did you guys need?" I change the subject. I keep twiddling with my fingers, I'm so anxious, although, I should be happy. I'm just so nervous and shaken.

"Oh! That's right, Jean wanted to see you" Amber states.

"Hold up- Acting Grand Master Jean?! Like really?!" I put my hands over my mouth. I cant believe this. She wants to see me, the person I've looked up to the most in my entire life. Perhaps she's going to make me eligible to become a knight? If I become a knight that would be a dream come true.

"Now, let's get going, we shouldn't keep Jean waiting" Amber says as she darts off. I try to catch up behind her, she's so swift, how does she sprint so fast? Going up the stairs isn't any easier, my legs are starting to give up on me from running so fast.

I miss a step on the stairs and tumble back. I let out a scream only to be caught by a pair of strong arms. That familiarity, it's Kaeya....

"Woah y/n, you aren't falling for me are you?" He says as he wraps his arms around my waist. I cant process this. This feels too good to be true, this is so unrealistic, I'm on cloud 9. I work up the courage to say something back.

"What me? Pfffp, sorry, but you'll have to try harder than that, like I said, Im not some gullible hopeless romantic." I state. Although his cliche flirting line was adorable, and made me have a few butterflies, he'll need to be more original than that.

He lets go of my waist and I stand up straight. He lets out a disappointing sigh, as if he was sad I'm not falling for his charm. I have to admit, it's cute he's trying, but at the same time, we wouldn't work at all. I continue up the stairs to the Knights of Favonius Headquarters. Amber leads me inside. Wow, I've never in my entire existence think I would step foot in here, it's a bit less exciting then I thought, but still I cant believe this. It's huge, and there are four doors in each corner of the room, with knights standing outside each door.

Amber opens the door to Ms. Jeans office, wow, I y/n, is standing in front of Jean, I cant believe this. I take a look around, there's a pretty big bookshelf on the left side, and a good size table on the right, in the middle is where Jean and her desk are. She looks up at me and smiles.

"Oh yes, you must be y/n, Kaeya told me about you, and by the way, I saw that dance, I've never seen anyone woman dance that gracefully before." I want to smile and cheer for myself so bad, I got a compliment from Jean, I believe I have won at life.

"Thank you very much, I appreciate it Ms. Jean" I say with my hands neatly held together. I continue to stand until Jena breaks the silence.

"Oh, and as to why I called you here, Kaeya told me you would be a courageous knight, and you would help us greatly, would you like to consider trying out to become a knight? You can have time to think about this, you don't have to make the decision now, but please as soon as you make up your mind, see me, oh and here is a copy of the handbook, if you have any questions, your answers should be in there, if there is anything else, please come visit me in here, alright?" She gives the copy of the handbook to me.

"Now, anything else?" She asks.

"No ma'am" Kaeya and Amber both say.

"Alrighty then, thank you for your time, please think long and hard about your decision." She states.

"Yes ma'am." I respond.

Amber and Kaeya lead me out of the room. I have the biggest smile on my face. Amber and Kaeya both smile at me.

"Oh my Barbatos, look who's going to join us" Kaeya says.

"Don't come to conclusions just yet, I might not even make the tryouts." I say.

"Don't say that you'll do great" Kaeya puts his hand on my shoulder.

I take a look at the Handbook, so far it's all about stuff you shouldn't do as a knight, like forming alliances with treasure hoarders and things like that..... wait. What is this?

Knights shall not make intimate relationships with fellow knights

Am I seeing that correctly? Are my eyes deceiving me? This means that... If I become a knight, then I cant ever be with Kaeya...

I stop in my tracks. I stare at the paper. With tears in my eyes. I look dead, my skin pale. It feels like Monstadt turned grey.

Kaeya noticed how I looked pale.

"Are you okay y/n? You seem a bit pale"

I cant right now, I'm not even in a relationship with him, we are just friends, yet it feels like Teyvat just disappeared, like there's no point in me living. But, becoming a knight is my life goal, it would make my mother proud if she were here with me. This is the time I need her most, and she's not here with me.

I come back to reality. Kaeyas waving his hand in my face.

"Y/n? You okay?" He says.

"Oh sorry, I'm alright, I have to business to do, so I'll get going."

"Oh! I can help you, it'll get done faster." He offers.

"Thank you, but it's something I need to do alone" I say while gripping the handbook. I almost trip, but I start walking to my house, I need to think this through. I feel bad leaving Kaeya and Amber there, but, I need to read it again. I'm praying I read that wrong.

I open the doors to my house, I lock the doors and immediately turn into a ball, a ball of sadness, with my tears falling down my face. I put my face in my hands, my eyes are already swollen.

"why..." I whimper. At this point, I cant hold back anymore, I am undeniably in love with Kaeya, even before the dance, I've always had this feeling for him but, I've been trying to put it off, it was like a fly buzzing in my ear, constantly bugging me. (ehe get it? ok nvm)
And.. this handbook... when I read it again, I-

"Y/n."

huh....?

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Aw man poor poor y/n.... I have an idea on where I wanna take this, but suggestions are welcome!