If this is what it takes (Bucky Barnes x reader)

Chapter 5

Y/n POV:
I woke up by Bucky shaking me gently and calling my name. My heart was pounding in my chest and I was covered in sweat. “Bucky?” I asked shocked and out of breath. “Hey. I am here.” He calmed me. “I had that d- dream again.” I whispered, sat up and pulled my legs to my chest. Bucky put his hand on my back and circled it. “It’s okay. I am right here.” He told me and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.” I mumbled. I was still breathing heavy. “No. You don’t have to be sorry.” He replied. I turned my head to look at the clock. It was 4:49 am. I sighed. “I’ll be in the kitchen. Don’t worry I’ll be fine. You should get some more sleep.” I said and got out of the bed. “I come with you.” He said but I stopped him. “It’s okay. I know the way. I just can’t sleep again.” I told him. Bucky hesitated but then nodded his head. “Just come here if you need something, okay?” I nodded and left.
I first went into now my room and put on some other clothes. Just a simple sports top with shorts. This was the most comfortable. Then I went into the kitchen and made me a coffee. I didn’t know if I could sleep again. I probably could but I was too afraid to have a nightmare again. I sat there for a while and when I looked again at the time, it was 5:30. I sighed and stood up. What could I do now?
I walked through the tower. I almost got lost but lucky me I found the way back or more the way to the cells. I didn’t know how I got there but honestly; I didn’t care. The curious me I was, I looked through the loophole of the door which led to Loki’s cell. I was a little surprised when I saw him moving inside. I hesitated for a moment but then opened the door. Loki turned around.

Loki POV:
I turned around when I heard someone opening the door. I was surprised that someone came down here this early but when I saw Phoebe, I smiled mischievously. “Where do I got the honor to have a visitor that early?” I asked in a joking tone but my voice was still low. “I couldn’t sleep and somehow I ended up down here.” She replied and walked up to me. “What an unexpected surprise.” I spoke. “I guess, I am right if I say that we’re alone?” She half asked, I nodded. I leaned against the glass of my cell, my arms above my head. “You changed your mind and now want to help me escape?” She shook her head, amused. She came nearer, almost touching the glass. “You may know Sebastian but I can’t trust you. Actually, I think there is a reason why no one knows about him knowing you like a friend.” She whispered. I laughed. “You don’t know him or me.” I responded. “Right. But you don’t know me either. I guess you know what happened. The thing with my ex. It may just happen but it didn’t weaken me, actually, it made me stronger. I know where my position is and I know where yours is. I am not afraid of you. You are in a cell and if Sebastian is really your friend, you wouldn’t dare to hurt me.” I smiled at her speech. “I like that. It seems like you know how to get what you want. Let’s do it like this.” I put my arms behind my back. “You tell me how you could look through my illusion and I answer your questions.” It was silent for some seconds.
“And how can I trust the God of Mischief, the God of lies?” She asked. I looked into her eyes. She wasn’t joking. “Well, you can’t. But I guess you have to take the risk if you wanna get answers or you just ask Sebastian.” I had a careless expression. “Then I guess, I have to take the risk.” She made a short break. “Honestly, I am not sure how I did it. It was like I could feel his presence or not exactly his but another presence. I know what you’re capable of and when I was with Nat, he just disappeared. I only had to add one and one.” Maybe she wasn’t just a normal girl but this was the truth. “Now, your turn.” She said and crossed her arms in front of her chest. I put an arm put to show her to ask me.
“Since when do you know Sebastian?” Was her first question. “In the fifties.” I shortly answered. “Ho do you two met and why are you so good friends?” I rolled my eyes. “I had to come to Midgard to get something and met him. The rest was coincidence.” She thought for a moment. “Why does the others not know about you knowing each other?” This was difficult to answer. “I guess he don’t want them to question his loyalty. I know who he is and these people were the only ones who could help him.” She nodded understanding. “I don’t mind if you two are friends. He didn’t help you out of here, did he? Sebastian knows what is right and wrong. He doesn’t have to hide his past or what it brings with him. I can only imagine how hard it was. He needed someone by his side and that was you. He couldn’t know what would happen in the future, could he?” I frowned a little. Then without a word, Y/n left.
In some way, she was right. He couldn’t know of my actions. I didn’t know what I would do myself back then. So, how could he? I shook my head. “I won’t let get you under my skin.” I mumbled.

Y/n POV:
I went back into the kitchen. It was 6:53. I didn’t see anyone so I guessed that they were all still sleeping. I sat there for a while. I wanted to let everything out. The anger, the anxiety, it buried all inside me. That wasn’t the first time something bad happened to me but the worst and that put me on the edge. I remembered that Nat showed me the gym and decided to go there until the rest woke up.
I got my earphones and made my way to the gym. I was sure to somewhere find a punching bag and so I did. I put on some punching gloves that fit me and turned on the music. I took a deep breath and started. I let out everything. I never did that and it felt so good.
I forgot the time and after a while, someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was so surprised that I turned around and was about to hit me when he stopped my hand with his own. My eyes widened. I put away the gloves and earphones. “Oh my- Captain U am so sorry. I didn’t mean to-" He cut me off. “It’s fine Phoebe. I should know to not scare someone who is concentrated.” He laughed. “Yea right.” I smiled awkwardly. “How do you feel?” He then asked. “Better.” I smiled. He looked down at me. “Since when are you here?” He asked. “Around 7:10.” I replied. “So, you’re in here since almost an hour.” My eyes widened and I looked at the clock. It was 8. “I guess.” I laughed. “Then you must be hungry. Actually, that’s why I am here. Breakfast's ready, you wanna join us?” I smiled and nodded. “That would be great. Thank you, Captain.” He shook his head. “Didn’t I told you, you can call me Steve? If I didn’t then I day it now. Please call me Steve.” I nodded. “Thank you, Steve.” Then we walked to the kitchen.
“Good morning, Phoebe.” Nat and Seb greeted me at the same time. “Good morning.” I replied with a smile. “It seems like you found a like in the gym.” Thor said. I giggled. “It’s cool there.” I added. “What did you do all morning. Were you the whole time in the gym?” Bucky now asked. “I walked around. Looked if J could do something and ended up in the gym.” I wasn’t sure if I should tell them that I talked to Loki. I would maybe tell Nat or Bucky but not anyone else.
We ate breakfast and then Bucky and I went back to our rooms together. “Is there something you wanna talk about?” Bucky asked me after some minutes. “It seems like something’s bothering you.” He added. I sighed. Should I tell him. “Actually, there is something…” I started. Then we reached my door. “Could we maybe talk inside?” I asked and he nodded. I opened my door and walked inside, Bucky right behind me. “This morning, I walked around and ended up downstairs. Where the cells are. Nat and I already talked with Loki yesterday. I didn’t know if I should tell the other but this morning, I saw him walking around in his cell and talked with him. Nothing important or nothing that could put anyone in danger, I swear.” I told him, my voice shaking a little at the end. “I am sorry. I know I shouldn’t walk inside without permission but Nat and I did yesterday and- I just didn’t think about it.” I put my head down. I was too shamed to look at him.
Suddenly he pulled my head up. Not with force. I looked at him. “You don’t need to be afraid. I am not angry but don’t forget that this is Loki Laufeyson. He is dangerous.” His tone was hard at the end. “Did you ever ask him why he did all of this?” This question just slipped out of my mouth and I regretted it immediately. “Forget it.” I said before Bucky could answer. He ignored the last part. “Actually, we never did that.” I sighed. “Maybe you should at least give him a chance to explain it. The most actions have a reason.” I said quietly. “Perhaps you’re right but will he talk to us?” I thought for a moment. “If you want, I could help you with that.” Bucky shook his head. “You just went through so much-" I cut him off. “I am happy if I can help and show you all how thankful I am for what you did for me.” Bucky sighed. “I will talk to the others but can’t promise anything. I smiled softly and hugged him. “Thank you.” Then I yawned. Bucky chuckled. “Maybe you should sleep a little. You woke up early.” I nodded. “I try to but could you please wake me if I have a nightmare again?” I asked already a little afraid of it. “I won’t leave your side.” I smiled a little relieved and crawled under the covers. “Thank you, Bucky.” I yawned and fell asleep almost immediately.

A/n: Helluuuu and welcome back guys! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I didn't know if I mentioned it yet but I am German and hope the writing isn't too bad at foe example grammer... But yeah... Love you <333