Pain

Chapter 5

He woke up with a start. Breathing heavily and irregularly he stared at the black wall in front of him. Where was he?

"I am here." A feminine voice whispered and made him jump. He looked into a young face, two scars trailing across the left side, big blue eyes, montrals, lekku, one badly harmed.

"Ahsoka?" He asked, not trusting his own eyes and somehow barely recognizing her. She smiled obviously relieved but still on edge. And he knew again, what this room was. Sighing he bend forward and ran a hand over his face. All of this was just so messed up. He could barely remember what had happened after he had kicked Anakin out of his mind. Only that he had thrown up over the side of the chair and then imagined lava closing in on them. He must have completely freaked out. He looked back up and around, searching for the deadly liquid. But there was none.

"Anakin carried you in a few hours ago. He said you showed him your memory of your fight and then had some kind of panic attack?" She explained. He just nodded. Yes. Some kind of panic attack. Paired with hallucinations. And vomit.

"I HATE YOU!!"

Obi-Wan flinched. His mind snapped back to years ago. And for a moment he was standing again on that slope. Watching Anakin burn. He shook his head. He needed to cage that beast again. As fast as possible!

"Where is he?" He wanted to know, shoving the impression of sizzling flesh as much away as possible. His brain was weirdly fuzzy. And something in his mind was occupying his attention, taking it from the outside and steering it back to his messed up inside. It felt strangely familiar. And fiercely threatening. He needed to meditate. Desperately. He hoped this second time it would be faster to close the memory off and that he even would be able to meditate. He did not have the time to dwell on it for a year.

"Back upstairs. He said he would organize a transport for us off this planet." She said. Waiting a bit. "Letting us go." But she seemed conflicted about it. And only now he realized that something was missing. His eyes dropped to her throat. The collar was gone. Anakin really meant it. He wanted them gone. Out of his life.

Obi-Wan knew exactly what he thought about that. He stood up, fist Anakin, then meditation! Maybe. Always first Anakin! But before he could march out the door, Ahsoka jumped right in front of it, baring it for him.

"No!" She exclaimed. "Not like this!" The fear in her eyes was almost throwing itself at him as her fingers clenched around the doorframe, to hold onto it, at least being a challenge for him to remove her out of his way, should he decide to force her aside. "You will just have another breakdown!"

A little surprised about this emotional breakout he halted. Ground teeth and determination as well as upcoming tears in those big blue eyes let him stop confused. "Ahsoka..." He started but failed to think of something to say. He tried desperately to shut out the screams in his head. He didn't have time for that now. He needed to stop Anakin from throwing him out!

"Please, Master." She begged. "You can't go to him. Not like that. You are already closing off."

And he still didn't understand. Furrowing his eyebrows, he looked at her.

"Don't make me kill you!"

Again, he shook his head. As the whole scenario started to play out again in his head.

"Do you even feel me in the Force?" She asked, letting go of the doorframe and stepping up to him. She reached for him and took one of his hands, placing it above her wildly beating heart, while her other hand, found the way to his chest, setting down directly above his. "You are so closed up in your mind, I can't feel you through our bond."