Skulduggery Pleasant Fanfiction - Rain

Chapter 1: An old, rancid friend

'Again,' 

muttered Valkyrie under her breath. 'Raining again. I wish I still had Fletcher.'

It was a typical day in wet, muddy Ireland, except it wasn't.

'So, remind me, what are we doing driving this far out? Won't we damage my Bentley?'

'Nonsense. And for the last time, I never did, and never will, give her to you. I have seen you... attempt to spin the wheel twice, and that was two times too many.'

Her partner, in a crisp 3-piece navy suit, with a black hat and matching black gloves. Hat dipped halfway over an eye socket. Oops, an empty eye socket.

'We are here to seek the ancient knowledge of Romulus Romini IV through a lovely, prolonged chat."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes.

'In other words, we are there to find out where he is hiding our good old pal Rancid Fines.'

Valkyrie grinned.

'Sounds more like us.'

Skulduggery sighed.

'Sounds more like you.'

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They barely made it to the door when Romulus Romini IV jumped out from behind a rose bush and decided to spring a surprise attack with a flying fist that Valkyrie easily countered. She locked his arm with her knee and wrenched it to the ground.

'No!' whined Romulus, his voice nasal and unimpressive.

'You can't attack me! What are you doing? I'm an innocent citizen!'

'Oh, I'm sorry. You're telling me you unintentionally almost broke my nose? Or that I just happened to walk right into your karate class? Get in the car.' Valkyrie jerked her thumb behind her.

'No!' whined Skulduggery. 'He's covered in dirt!'

'No!' whined Romulus for the second time. He sure did do that alot. 'I promise you, I don't know a thing about Rancid being an idiot and trying to hide it in England! A single thing! I swear!'

'Ah. So you do know. Now tell me, what's this it?' 

Poor Romulus looked like a dying fish gasping for air. Valkyrie wrenched his arm even harder. 

'Well, that's-'

And Romulus broke off, because he exploded. 

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(hey guys! sorry for the short chapter, i'm really new to writing. just wanted to say all credits for the images go to the creators, i didn't make any of them. i'll update regularly - love y'all!)