Desire to Leave

Day: Been here a few months

Since being placed here, it's been quite difficult to settle in. As expected, people were very cautious to talk to me after the past few years of dire circumstances. Appearing out of the blue didn't help that either so I've had to force my way into a few people's lives in order to be able to gain some mild socialisation whilst I'm here. That has helped me obtain this little booklet which was given to me by someone I'd like to call a friend. Don't know if they'd see it that way though considering we've only just begun starting to confide in each other.

I know I can't tell them about everything that's happened to me so some things I've mentioned about my past have been quite trivial or watered-down realities of events. My favourite semi-truth was how, before we were isolated from each other, I pretended there was something that had wiped out the planet and I was the only survivor. It's something many kids did, but through that I was able to tell them about some of the things that happened to me during my time in the cell.

That's been the best outlet so far but the remainder of the time with them has been spent cracking jokes. To keep my mind occupied, I've found that joking around helps keep my mind positive rather than falling into something I could not live with for more than a couple of days. It does mean I'm having to ignore a lot of problems that derived from the cell and the immediate aftermath of being bought to this place rather than my actual hometown. That neglect will ultimately mean those issues come back to bite me at some point but I'm willing to risk that at the moment. Settling in is the main focus for now so I'm not seen as an outsider here.

Day: A little lonely

I've been waiting for them to come knocking on my door at an ungodly hour of the morning without any luck. If I'm honest, I don't know what I want from them now. They won't change their minds to take me out of this place and, unless I'm doing something horrific to jeopardise their position, they won't intervene in my 'new life.' That was the agreement anyway. If I were to do something which threatened them, apparently I'll have my life ruined which sounds entertaining.

Nothing of note has happened lately, the person I thought to be a friend hasn't been around much to talk to and the rest of the people around my age are obsessed with relationships. I think that's what my friend is off doing as well. I saw them hanging around with someone else the other day. I don't see what the fuss is all about with relationships. They're menial and at the end of the day, it's just another person to worry about and can cause more pain should they be lost. I learnt that when I entered into the programme and was put in the cell. Some of the others have asked me about the topic of relationships and I've been open enough to say I couldn't care less about them, much to their surprise. It's not that I don't find them interesting; it would provide something else to do if I were to ever get to a stage where I cared about someone to that extent. As long as I have the odd friendship here and there, I'm happy to stick away from them for the moment.

Day: Went on a trip

I thought that I would be stopped from leaving this town should I ever attempt to but I was wrong. My friend took me along with them and a few others to a very dusty place where we smashed some things. Not sure why but it was fun nonetheless. I've been coming down with a cold or something for the past couple of days and my sinuses have been blocked up which has been a less than fun experience, so this was a nice distraction.

The problem was I was told to wear a makeshift mask due to the dust which was creating an effect not too dissimilar to a sandstorm. So, whilst I was waiting for my turn to smash some things, my already waterfall-like nose was being put in an oven by the mask which didn't help things much. It was nice to get a few annoyances off my chest though when my turn came to break a few chairs apart.