Dagger's love

1

Aubrey Gold

Large dresses with high heels, corsets tightly around already thin waists and hair fixed so neatly that it makes you wonder if it's even real. That's my reality every day. trying to be perfect and watching every step I make just so that I won't mess up. Because if I do I know that the consequences will hurt more than actually obey in the first place.

Since I was born I have been treated with disgusting looks and fake smiles. I am nothing like my brother that somehow everyone has grown to love. My parents, my sister, the royal crew and all the people he calls peasants. Evan Gold, the person in my life that I hate the most. My two year older brother who everyone believes is perfect. His dirty blonde and curly hair cut in a perfect undercut which is a great contrast to the black suits and button up shirts that he always wears.

My parents and the rest of the world always fall for his charm, it's like a spell that he seems to throw at every person that he meets. My sister is probably the one who fell in love with his actions and way with words the most, ignoring the thousands of fangirls that always want to be the one he eventually has to marry. My brother is probably the reason that I spend most of my time alone. We have a small castle as our abode and yet it feels like the many corridors and rooms aren't enough. I always run into people when all I want to do is to be alone with my thoughts.

Somehow every time I see Evan he is wearing that disgusting smirk of his and there is always a fangirl or two in a trail behind him, and when they aren't there, my sister Lily is there to back him up. They are both what looks like perfect royals. They've got straight posture and smooth features with sharp jawlines and cheekbones. Their bodies showing off confidence and all their words and actions are charming like always. They also just like me got the emerald green eyes that our family is famous for.

I could be like them if I wanted to, and sometimes I pretend to be just like them, just to skip one of the many fights with my parents. I just don't feel like being a judging asshole who acts arrogant to every single soul who doesn't have anything to provide. I don't want to be perfect if that means being an audacious, disrespectful and unsupportive person.

In a week it's his birthday, the day he turns eighteen. My parents will arrange a large ball and invite more than I even believe can fit in our castle. Lily has been searching for clothes in different shapes and colors. Or with other words dresses that basically look the same just with a few shade differences and a slight material change. She's fifteen and acts like she's the only person in the world along with her idol, the brat.

I was planning to have a quiet time for myself, maybe reading one of my favourite books or secretly sneaking into one of our two training rooms and practising throwing my dagger. Though those plans were destroyed when my brother was busy training and for some reason occupied both rooms and the library was snatched by the princess herself. Instead I had to spend my time looking out over the large flower field outside of the stone walls that keeps our garden and castle more hidden. I would have nothing against for hours upon hours just laying with my back against the ground and feeling all the sweet scents filling my nostrils while the stars fill up the sky. If only I would have stayed quiet and quitted being so foolish.

The large dining table was as usual prepared with a white table cloth and neatly set with expensive silverware. On their plates some meat with salad and vegetables rested in perfection. During the whole dinner she had held her mask while Evan was talking. Her mother had smiled slightly and her shoulder long ginger hair had fallen in her face every time she looked down at her plate. It disturbed Aubrey. She wanted her mother to speak up, because she figured someone else had to figure out her brother's intentions.

Her father though, who was looking just like her older brother was copying his famous smirk and only seemed blown away at his charisma. It bothered her how all of them were so perfect and she had to keep up. And it bothered her even more how her little sister only seemed to ignore her for their brother. "I was thinking of a few things last night. I know that I'm not supposed to plan the ball and that but I have a few... proposals." The way he slowly talked to gain everyone's full attention and how he always thrived for eye contact to scare the people around him away made her tighten her jaw.

"I want the ball to be a masquerade. The women in this country only want me for money and my... incredible looks. I want to find a suitor who is worthy of the Gold name. And a masquerade would be perfect." She could see something dark in his eyes. Something was wrong, but when was something really right? "Aubrey, would you mind staying out of my way? I wouldn't want the women to get scared or follow your bad examples, would I?"

She was used to keeping quiet and only smiling as an answer with people around. Even for the staff of the castle she had to look perfect, for her last name's sake. Though sometimes she was too stubborn to keep her tongue in her mouth. "I would gladly skip out of your little party. Why would I want to watch you get praised to the skies by all your fangirls. Or why on earth would I even want to be close to you trying to seduce your so-called suitors who you'll only use for your own good. You call everyone outside of this castle peasants, so what do these people see in you? I am ashamed to be a part of the same family as you"

Her father's frenetic and large figure stood up from his chair and stared with cold eyes right at her. Those green eyes they all wore staring right into her soul. "Never speak to your brother like that. Go up to your room and don't you dare get outside until I say so. Now it's you who are the one pulling our name through the dirt." With her cheek high and a slight smile she met her fathers eyes before slightly bowing. She then looked right back into her brother's eyes. "You disgust me. And I am so happy that you don't like me. That only makes me a better person. And if someone with the name Gold is supposed to act like you, I don't want it. I like silver better anyway." And so with her father loudly speaking at her, her brother and sister staring at her with dirty looks and her mother being silent, she elegantly walked up the stairs. She felt proud yet knew that she would have to sit through rather frustrating consequences because of what she said.

I wish that I was born a male, they have so many benefits compared to women. First of all they are supposed to fight which she loved. Since she was young knives and daggers had always been interesting to her. When she was thirteen she stole a dagger from her family's collection and hid it in different places so that she would be able to practise with it. Not only was it pretty but interesting too. With time she had gotten very good accuracy with throwing daggers. She had also stolen two more daggers. She always kept one in a leather strap kept around her leg that she had made herself, another in a hole close to a large rock about a hundred meters into the woods and a third under the fountain in the garden.

I'm also jealous of the way the boys get to marry all the pretty girls. I'm jealous of my brother every time I see him kissing all of those beautiful girls in corsets and pretty dresses. It's not fair how I'm supposed to marry an ugly and 'dominant' man who's supposed to do all the work for me while all I can do is to try and look pretty. I don't want to be used and especially not by some man. I will prove them all wrong, I will prove that I can be better than any man and that I can handle myself. I won't marry, I will stand strong with me, myself and I by my side.