Falling |TAEKOOK|

feelings (Ep-08)

He ajar his eyes. Practically filling his lungs with more then sufficient air required, still in haze digging his well pedicured nails on leather sofa as sofa give it's leathery music . he almost got chock on air,coughing dry to make his throat less painful, hairs all over his face and the trembling hands are always there, if someone can blame his drinking problems for that but it's strange how he never like soju personally. cold is what the only second thing he sense afterward . he is completely drenched in sheet of dampness. He press his palm over his chest to seize the unfound pain but overly uneven breaths is so much to concert. His heart is not working like it usually do. The stun his heart always pull when he is around.

Wait....

'Where is he? '

'What the...

he frantically looks around to realise what's happening but the sharp pain on his neck slowed his curiosity, the daze is still there.

'WASN'T I WAS IN COMFORT ROOM? '

Have you ever seen the adopted puppy when they first arrive at home .how they look around in amuse. Curious little bean to discover most of it at the immediate moment. To run around to inspect, to see if this house is okay for them. Long story short if they are in right place?

Same brunette's brain is feeling but far more different from pup. He is not amuse he is beyond confuses and afraid.

its hard for him to stay still may be his blood is replace with bouncy balls but the confusion he has on his face is no joke. He jump up from uncomfortable sofa.

"Dream" Shaky first word he out with his still uneven breath.

'Fuck what's wrong with me. Why it's so hard for me to find that out this late'

Now don't hate him because he literary forget to breathe when it's about jungkook and this time he just not only saw jungkook. He saw him in that....state
but what shaken him more is, he has freaking no idea why? Why the hell he go all made of glass, ready to break on one tap.its not him,he is not this ..umh fragile.

Okay

Ok I accept it is a lie but he became too vulnerable when it's come to him. In fact he turn into a lamb not even trying to defend ready to slam off.

the unidentified webcob of emotions is not new for him to handle.he has great master in hiding feelings actually, thanks to God, he just have to put his features on ease and everyone will think he is deliberate over something serious. he has that kind of a face. So it was not a joke for him to trash his own sentiments . His play pretend is so professional to point out any mistake for and he is so proud of himself for that. He has been doing pretty well for past few years.but this is totally different from last time . Lately the urge to get notice by other is instance.he wanted other to get a little pull from his side too.on the mean time the fear of getting a single glimpse from him can be the cause of his death.

And he is not even exaggerating it..... Okay May be a little.

His un erupting feelings for other is taken a blizzard cause. He has been seeing him......Obviously in dreams but never, like never he has seen other doing any of inappropriate adultery even in the day time.

'Why the hell is ???....'

He just need to stop for the sake of his mental peace. The trick his mind is playing like some old broken records from 'please notice me' and then 'fuck he is looking at me I need to detonated my wierd self' .

sometime he feel defeated from inside what the actual hell did He wanted. Just say it out loud and may be he will work to pursuit it but no, there's nothing more then two things in his life and that is, 'want him to see me' and 'where to hide.' Overly stressed battle of debate with no words to heard always seems endless with no results.

Oh

He freaking need to stop this habit of Overthinking for bit because its not leading him anyway.
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It's drowning him.