The Woes of a Lost Love

part forty five

A/N
Wait a minute... I literally cannot fathom that we're almost at 50 chapters! It seems like I was just coming up with ideas with @nxtaliexoxo18 just yesterday! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. If you do, please consider voting/commenting! <3

Disclaimer: mentions of depression

One month later

With the warm sun gleaming onto my skin, a small simper appears on my lips as I wiggle my toes in the soft grass. I always loved how it felt; so soft yet strawy, it kept me grounded. The birds chirping and soaring into the distance was enough to send me into ecstatics, but I was expecting somebody else to join me.

Someone with signature ocean blue eyes and dark brown, curly hair that I could play with all day. When I put my hand over my head to see, he was nowhere to be seen. That's when I fell into the grass beneath me, soaking in it and sighing deeply. He wasn't here, but I'd always suspect he'd arrive; he'd come and prove me wrong.

That's when I hear it. Footsteps on the very grass I was laying on. What really caught me off guard was when I glanced up and saw him. Happiness soaked throughout me, almost like it marinated me. He was dressed in all white, like that flowy white shirt he wore when I was here with him that first time.

Standing up, I stare at him in the eyes and I notice a glimmer that just looks that little bit different. He doesn't say a word as he takes my left hand, and that's when I hear the track of 'Two Ghosts' by Harry Styles start to play. I pondered. "Why this song?" I question as he takes me by the waist, my arms around his neck.

"We're not who we used to be," he simply says.

Something just seemed too good to be true.

Was I dead?

---

Jolting up from my dream, gasps escape my lips. With my eyes widened, I glance at the digital blue alarm clock that reads three-thirty-four. Of course, I had a dream like that, it was during the R.E.M cycle.

"Are you okay, darling?" Callum croaks next to me as he turns over from his sleep, his eyes still closed. Realising it was all just a bad dream, I lay back next to him in his bed, covered in his scent before he wrapped his arm around me. "Just a bad dream," I simper, tears brimming my eyes.

I knew it was nearly time that I had to go away for college. With only a few weeks until graduation, we'd all be heading our separate ways and I didn't know what that meant for us; or anyone for that matter. I knew that Violet wanted to stay here with her mom and Jett, I had no idea what Emmett wanted to do, and Callum wanted to stay right here.

Literally, in my arms.

This was a long time coming but I think it was finally catching up to me. It seemed as things were starting to finally become wonderful, inevitable things such as this had to get in the way. But hey, boyfriend and girlfriend are supposed to fight against the world, right?

...Right?

I wasn't sure how that would be possible when we were half the world away.

Sinking into Callum's touch, tears manage to escape my eyes as do small little whimpers. Luckily for me, he fell asleep straight away and was quite a deep sleeper. I didn't want to leave him either, I didn't know how I'd break it to him; he knew, but he didn't know how close I was to leave for my future.

I wanted to leave high school so bad, especially after all of the drama and torment I had undergone through the past month, but I'd miss it. I'd miss the weird looks Violet and I would get, I'd miss the meaningless little fights we'd have. If only we knew back then they'd mean nothing, they'd laugh along with us now.

Gazing around his dim room, dark wooden furniture surrounds it and on his nightstand remains a photo of him and his little sister, Paloma. With her dark hair lengthening over her shoulders and electric blue eyes just like his, I felt sorrow for a life that was lost so early on. He never really spoke about her - I didn't want to force it onto him either, I knew how much it hurts - it's death by a thousand cuts.

I met Callum's aunt, Abigail, a little while ago too. She was quite different to Callum. With dirty blonde hair and a bubbly personality, she kind of reminded me of myself. The only difference was that I actually liked her, and she accepted me. If anything, Abigail spilled more information about Callum's life and his sister more than he did. It was only yesterday when I found out that he struggles with heavy depression ever since everyone practically abandoned him.

His grip became tighter on me as he groaned, realising that he awoke once again. Placing a small kiss on my collarbone, I try and contain myself. I desperately want to be happy in these little moments we share, but it's just so hard knowing that I'm going to have to leave sooner or later. I could've stayed there forever.

I never wanted to leave him.

Maybe I loved him.

Deep. Treacherous. Painful, love.