Gushing Crimson (Tainted Blood Trilogy)

Chapter 15 (Celine the Awkward One)

Celine had been sitting with Hazel's table for a while now and she was used to all the fuss when she sat there on lunch break. But It was clear to everyone that she didn't really fit in there. The only reason she sat there was because of the gossip and information leaks she could get , so she enjoyed asking them about ghost tails around these parts and then checking them out , but so far she'd had no such luck , only empty bottle leads based on camp fire entertainment. If Celine was really honest to herself , the main reason she had sat there was because of Hazel. She knew that she couldn't have real friends, that could put them in danger, so she never let anyone get to close to her little own friends, but deep, deep down Celine knew that she liked Hazel, with her tough but well carried precision and kindness.Over all it was all those traits that made most people like her and Celine want to protect her.

This was the first day back , Monday after the party. And after the whole morning of waiting, at the table strumming her finger nails on the smooth lunch table surface it was clear Hazel wasn't coming today. The death of Sam must of been hard on her, and she'd seen it happen it was understandable her time away but Celine couldn't help but miss her. Mark wasn't at school either, (probably still at the hospital , or just skipping both of which were likely options) . She already bumped into Zack once today, alone in the empty school hallway when every one else was in class. He'd stifled a nod and a small smile at her. She'd given him the whole speech, that he couldn't tell anyone, that he should try to forget, then he'd turned to her and whispered so small she could barely hear him speak.

"How can I forget when every time I close my eyelids, he's there waiting for me." he didn't need to tell her who 'he' was when it was obviously the  boy from last night with the shoulder length blond hair. The boy he had called Sam. 

"He was my best friend." He'd told her. "and I-I watched him die." His bottom lip trembled, and the tears the welled in his green eyes showed the deeper bags that already hollowed his cheeks. "I could have done something, I could of saved them but - Mark was right I am a coward and it's my fault his dead."

She had softened. She wasn't used to dealing with these things. Normally she killed the ghost before anyone could be or get hurt and normally played the bait  anyway so the only person that could was her and her alone. But despite her awkwardness she shoved it down into her gut where she could ignore it for a while"You weren't a coward." she countered. "You're only human, it's not like you could have done anything to change the situation. Before then you didn't even know that ghosts were real, how could you know that it was a threat. You can't blame yourself Zack, it was hardly your fault, it's not anyones." she told him, but inside she could hear her own small voice echoing. Resonating deep down into bone marrow and the bubbling anger in her blood.  It's mine.

He shook his head at her, face tight "No it is. I appreciate what you're trying to do Celine but it doesn't change the fact that it is my fault. I could have ran in there and got him out . Sure I don't believe in ghosts- well now I do. " he added with a frustrated laugh. " but I knew that something was going on, that Sam and the rest of us weren't safe. But instead of going in there and helping him... I ran. Because Mark is right. I was scared ,and the fact that i'm human isn't enough of an excuse to ignore the fact that I was a coward."  Zack told me tears falling down his inward cheeks, head low in his misery and the look in his eyes... well I knew it well, because it was the kind of look I had it in my own. It was the look of someone who saw death, his was raw, new, but her's was deep, hollow even it was the kind of thing that left a mark on those who tried to look would be able see it like a sign over their face. Celine had learned to deal with it, but it didn't mean having death in your everyday life was something easy, it would never be easy. He chocked on his sobs that ran rampant on his face from his eyes. 

" I left him to die!" He cried out. "I left him to die." He repeated this time in a whisper and perhaps that was what Celine felt the most heartbreaking of all.