Recently - IzuJirou Oneshot

Recently

Recently, I've been on my own. I've abandoned my old life, my old friends, and most importantly, I've abandoned the love of my life. I tell myself that it's for the greater good, that I'm doing everyone a favor, but I'm so very tired.

Recently, I'm tired of running, I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of hiding. I'm hiding from those that care about me, I'm hiding from my true self. I'm hiding from society. I'm hiding from fate.

Recently, I've lost track of the days that go by. I've lost track of the hours, the minutes, the seconds. Every day I spend out on my own, I'm left with a static amnesia of where I am, what time it is, and what I'm even out here doing. It's only when my body screams for me to rest that I finally realize just what I'm doing. I'm being a protector.

Recently I've found myself as a protector. I'm protecting those I care about. I'm protecting the heroes. I'm protecting my friends and family. I'm protecting society. I'm protecting the future, the concept of a better tomorrow in these times that heroes are scarce.

Recently, I've been a fighter. I'm fighting to stay alive. Fighting to stay on my feet. Fighting to protect society. Fighting to ensure a better tomorrow, to ensure that All For One and the rest of the villains running amok in the wastelands of our homes are taken down. I'm the fighter for a better world, I must work tirelessly to change the future. I have to track them down.

I've abandoned everything in order to pursue this. I have nothing to return to, at this point it might as well be a suicide mission. I've pushed away the other heroes. I've pushed away my mentor, my teacher. I've pushed away all of my friends, my own mother. I've pushed Kyouka away.

Recently, I've found myself dreaming of you. The few times that I'm able to sleep while out here on my own, I dream of you. I dream of a happier life, being able to live out our days peacefully and without the needless trauma that the villains of this world have brought upon us. I dream of days where our life together hadn't been stripped away from us, but perhaps without the burden of One For All we never would have gotten this chance to begin with.

Recently, I've been thinking of you. I think about the bygone days where we could share a smile, laugh together, and talk together for the entire night. I miss the times where you'd coyly serenade me while we sat underneath the moonlight. I've missed that moonlight, it seems now all that's filling the sky is an endless storm. It mocks me. It mocks what I'm doing out here, all the hard work I'm putting into this... It's beginning to feel pointless.

Recently, I've been feeling melancholic. Saddened by the burden of overthinking. Constant thoughts of my own failure and demise. Fears of the better tomorrow never crossing the horizon, and everything that I hold dear falling to the hands of All For One.

Recently, I've been afraid. Afraid of watching those I love die. Afraid of losing the fight, afraid that I won't find them in time. That this is all for naught and that maybe that feeling of mockery from the storm was just my subconscious being real with myself.

Recently, I picture you in my mind. You're the voice in my head telling me to keep going. You tell me to stay strong, that this isn't for nothing and that soon I will have my rest. I'll have my life back and I'll be able to be in your arms safe and comfortable. I envision you welcoming me back with open arms and being able to feel the warmth that I've longed for since journeying out onto these cursed cold streets.

Recently... I've felt broken. My body is battered, my energy is low, and my heart may just not be in it anymore. My dreams of being a hero seem so distant now, and all that's left is a sense of duty. A responsibility to throw my life away for the greater good. But I'm afraid. I'm broken. Do I even have what it takes? What would you say?

Are you even there? Are you listening? No. You're far away, almost a blur in the distance. A hallucination in the storm. You couldn't listen, and somewhere deep in my heart I feel you wouldn't even want to listen. You wouldn't want to be here. You'd be hurt by my departure, all I left for you was that note.

Recently, I've been remembering the good old days. The days where I would laugh with my classmates. The days where I could smile and enjoy the sunshine while pursuing my dream. I remember the days where I was with you, the days where we just let our love blossom and give our all to each other.

I remember falling for you when you sang for me. I remember meeting you after the entrance exam... After saving you. I remember the awkward friendship before we had announced our love for one another. I remember losing myself to you, giving you my all and always turning to you for motivation. I remember how good you made it feel to be me... And now that feeling's gone.

But here I lie now, surrounded and binded by the civilians left out on the battlefield that used to be their transit to and from work or school. The sounds of voices, rain, footsteps, and the laughter of Dictator surrounding me. I needed to think of a plan, but nothing came to mind, all I could picture was you.

Your deep purple hair, hair that I loved to play with as you rested your head in my lap. Your beautiful onyx eyes that I could stare into for hours, gazing into them so that I could read your soul. Your beautifully plump lips that I could spend an eternity kissing. The voice that could invigorate me and lull me to sleep all the same. You were the girl I loved, how could I not think of you? I wish to be with you at this very moment.

Suddenly sound would return to my ears, a sudden explosion erupting nearby, and yet there was no heat wave or smoke cloud to follow. The grip that the civilians had on me had vanished and I found myself freed as the many innocents fled the scene, leaving me laying on the pavement below as rain pelted my now exposed face. I hadn't even realized that my mask had been torn off my face. I was exposed to the elements around me, and the smell of iron was ripe.

Suddenly the familiar face of one of my oldest friends had made its way into my line of sight. Gazing down at me with his crimson eyes softly was none other than Katsuki Bakugou. But how? Why? He shouldn't have been here, he should have been safe with the others at UA.

He pulled up what appeared to be a phone as he gazed down at me, almost apologetically. "He's... He's here guys. I found him, I have him here."

Within moments the rest of the class swarmed the area, making quick work of the remaining civilians and applying first aid to those who needed it. I was in awe of what I saw as I sat up from the wet pavement. Everyone was working together, everyone was here. But why?

"Everyone..." I mumbled, my voice was hoarse. I could hardly even recognize myself, I couldn't even tell that my throat was dry until now. My lips were chapped and my body was still dripping with open wounds. "...Why?"

My classmates all stopped what they were doing and turned to someone in particular. Someone who I never expected to see again. As she made her way through the crowd of civilians and UA students she appeared nearly as restless, yet beautiful as the day I had abandoned her and everyone else in my life.

"Because... We can't let you do this on your own." She spoke, her voice cracking as a mixture of tears and the rain from the downpour streamed down her face. Her hair was wet and clung to the surface of her skin, but even like this, as distressed as she was, she was my love. "I-I know you've missed me just as much as I've missed you..."

As I locked eyes with her I could feel it, I could feel my heart- my WILL crumble at just a simple glance. We were hurt, and even if I tried to come back now it wouldn't fix anything... But it would be a start. I realized now where my mistake lied. I wasn't just having all of these recent thoughts and feelings, they were all because of one simple thing.

Tears began to build up in my eyes, and I whispered, "You're right... Recently, I've been missing you. I've missed you so much..."