𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚢 | 𝙱.𝙴

-chapter 7-

All I've been able to do since Billie left is stare at my wall mentally cursing myself for being do goddamn stupid.

For bringing Billie over, for kissing her, for falling the fuck for her.

I've ruined everything.

It's all my fault.

Picking up my phone, I dial the first person that comes to my mind, the tones only ringing for two beats before he picks up.

"Hey, Jas." I attempt, voice unusually weak.

"Yo, what's up, V?"

"Can you, uh, can you come pick me up? I-" The words get lost in my mouth. Like anything I'm going to say will either sound stupid or make me sound too vulnerable.

Silence falls upon us for a moment, Jasper silently understanding what's going on. "Mkay, V. Meet you at the backdoor. I love you."

"I love you too." The words barely leave my lips as I continue to stare blankly straight infront of me, Jasper hanging up.

Since it's not that far from here to Jasper's house, it's only five or so minutes before he pulls up, me silently getting into his car and feeling his eyes burn holes into the side of my cheek expectedly which I ignore.

Everything is so loud at the moment, like I can't focus on a singular thought.

I don't get nervous.

Never have I ever felt that way apart from with Billie. Ever since me and Billie kissed after she cried in that bathroom, I've known.

Jasper's known.

But the difference between me and him is that he came to terms with it as soon as he realised.

I simply hid it away.

Because I don't want it to be true.

But it is.

And it's killing me I can't do anything about it.

As he pulls up to the beach, I can tell he's trying to think of something to say. Jas doesn't know how to handle me like this. He doesn't because I never am.

"What you going to do?"

We don't get out of his car. We don't need to.

"I don't know." I reply quietly, biting my lip to stop the tears from falling. "I'm fucked, Jasper."

He sighs, undoing his seatbelt an turning to me. "Venus, tell me one reason why you're fucked. Billie obviously feels the same. If anything, Billie probably feels like she's the one that's fucked at the moment."

"Maybe she likes me. But she won't when she finds out about us, Jas. About what we do. I can't have relationships, Santana was a mistake, I mean look what happened too her."

"She won't find out, V. You've kept it hidden for so long why-"

"I WAS SUPPOSED TO KILL HER, JASPER!" The tears fall freely now, me giving up trying to hold them off. "This," I hiccough, sniffing quietly. "This never should of happened."

All he can do is pull me into his chest, letting me sob into his shoulder, rubbing my arm comfortingly.

"Seriously V, I know this is hard but you've never been this way about anyone before. If Billie really is making you feel like this, I think you should go for it. It might some impossible but you're the strongest person I know. When you want something, you don't stop until it happens."

We sit in silence whilst I calm down, the cold ocean breeze not been able to reach us in the car.

"Do you want anything? I have some shit in my glove compartment."