Greed Fischer (BXB)

Chapter 11

I was sitting on my bed listening to The Weekend when Greed climbed in through my window. It was slightly hotter than the previous night and I was laying on top of the sheets with Jaz's finished anklet on one side and my chemistry books piled on the other. The holidays would be soon and I'd be free from the horror that high school was, just this week and another.

Greed stood at the end of my bed and the soft light from my desk lamp highlighted the swollen, red marks wrapped around his throat.

"G-Greed..." I stuttered nervously, "your throat?"

Greed sighed and his violet eyes looked dark and haunted, "it's okay, Little Cappuccino."

"Don't call me that." I said as I got up from my bed and stepped towards him.

Greed towered over me and he stood there, unmoving, watching me as I walked closer towards him before I was standing in front of him. His white hair ruffled from a slight breeze blowing through the open window and he was staring at me like he was somewhere else.

My stomach filled with unease, "Greed?"

Greed stared down at me before he took a step closer. Our chests brushed gently and he was so close that I could feel how warm he was and I felt my stomach tingle in response.

"I'm sorry, Iniko..." Greed whispered quietly as he reached out a finger and gently traced my bruised neck. I shivered at his touch and tried to calm my rapidly beating heart.

"W-what for?" I frowned up at him.

"For everything..." He murmured, his voice barely a whisper, "I shouldn't have done this to you, Moonlight."

My frown deepened and I struggled out as my chest felt tight, "Greed, I don't...I don't understand..."

"Finlay's right." Greed lips twitched and he clenched his jaw as he said, "I'm just like him –

"Greed..."

Everything felt wrong. It was like I was dreaming and the fact that Greed standing here in front of me looking so defeated had me feeling like my heart was breaking – it didn't seem real. I wasn't in love with Greed Fischer. Greed Fischer was not my friend. Greed was going to kill himself and leave me behind. But why did it feel so wrong?

Pain cannot be shared. I will never have Greed Fischer. Whether or not I'm in love with him, whether he's my friend – whatever I give Greed will never be enough, because mental illness is biological. Because whatever I have for Greed will not be enough to fix his bruises, or a broken bone or cancer – so why would it be enough to fix his pain?

Greed stared down at me with pained violet eyes. It wasn't fair that Greed was always in pain and I felt that urge, like I had when I had seen him standing on the ledge, to take all his pain away.

"Greed, you're not like him!" I grabbed his shirt tightly, feeling my desperation rise like hot air. Why did this feel so wrong? Why did I care so much?

Greed was so close to me that I could feel his clothes brush against my thin ones. His muscles tensed slightly and he shook his head gently, "Turtle, I'm sor–

"Stop!" I snapped as I looked up into his violet eyes, "you know what, Greed? Fuck you! Fuck you for doing this to me! Don't you see? I'm...Greed, you can't just fucking say sorry like you're going to leave because fuck you! I wasn't supposed to care about you! Now, look what's fucking happening!"

"Honey Bee..."

His muscular chest pressed against mine and I stared up at him, why was everything so damn wrong?