3rd Person POV
Bold = Language that cannot normally be understood by humans
"HeSy dAz mean, I aIn'r nOe dUnce yUh AsH rOaCh-" You spoke with a strong hiccup following straight after and a slight belch, making you look like some mud covered swine.
"And to make things worse, the human's drunk too." The blonde sighed heavily whilst looking at your drunken figure with a face palm to follow and a look of disappointment. 'damn, I can't stand humans' he thought to himself before a soft yet annoying (atleast to him) broke him out of his trance.
"I'm not drunk dumbass, I have a high alcohol tolerance, I'm just clowning you for your information, demon scum." You fired back whilst rolling your eyes and taking another sip of your alcohol before glaring at the ghost's way.
"Now, tell me what you meant when you talked about 'no wayyy' with your eyes glowing red like some dumbass twilight markhyuck wattpad story" You demanded of the blond haired male with a sarcastic smile.
'Humans are so fucking complicated and annoying, why did I even choose to flirt with this one of all of them..? even her friend was better' The blonde demon thought to himself, yet you somehow could have heard his thoughts very clearly.
"Holy shit........ Is this a wattpad soulmate au?! AND IS U GAE FOR NAHOYA.....Wait... that makes u NAHOYA SEXUAL?!" You shouted at the top of your lungs realizing that all of these things connected to the latest soulmate au you have read, and that too many sus things were going on.
"Sis... Noe, and I am afraid that you are right.... What a dumbass the author is to even think that I would want to be soulmates a human out of all things." Chifuyu uttered more to himself, but you somehow heard him and felt somewhat offended.
"Well bitch, I don't see myself bitching about something that cannot be fixed. Do You think I wanted to be soulmates with some short, blonde, sassy, dumbass blonde bitch? Hell no! I would have much more preferred a Nishimura Riki in my life than some stank ghost looking like some tiktok fuckboy from da side of the road, thank you very much." You ranted veraciously whilst waving your hands in various gestures to make him catch the message that you were very serious about.
The ghost rolled his eyes at your attitude and playfully scoffed. "Aren't you scared that you might be going to hell if you are soulmates with a demon?" the words that left his mouth coldly as it hit you like a speeding bus, and you felt vulnerable for a second before immediately putting back on your brave façade.
"T-the fuck I'm scared for, the a-amount of kinky porn and non con fanfics I read gon get me in hell a-anyways" You tried to reason out with no fear underlying, but the waver in your voice seemed to betray you, 'What a bitch the Y/N stutter is' You thought.
"Interesting..... For a human, you are not like the others." Chifuyu stated with a soft hum and you rolled your eyes annoyed at the cliched line that is used in literally 99.9% of the x reader fanfics and wattpad stories you have read.
"Just stop going with the script bro, the fanfic will only turn out to be cheesy shit if you do." You uttered to the male with a disappointed expression and he only seemed to be confused as to what you had just said.
"The... script?" he asked, "Yez, the script." You confirmed.
He scrunched his face up in confusion (which may I add looks cute af) before completely disowning all knowledge of what words had just left your mouth and a awkward wave of silence spread throughout the living room.
"(Y/N), I love you." He spoke quite randomly with a light blush coating his cheeks, "Pretty random and heart warming Blondie, but too bad that I have more of a crush on Jung Jaehyun than you." You shot back and he rolled his eyes before crossing his arms one over the other.
"Bij. Just go along with it and except my confession. Smile for the camera too, satan is watching" He spoke under his breath to you and you simply rubbed your temples at his stupidity.
"So let me get these clichés straight, even though non of my ships are. So, to conclude everything, you are most likely somehow satan's son, we are soulmates, we were supposed to fall in love by the end of this oneshot, which will most likely conclude once we exchange 'I love yous' and seal it with some fake, deep and meaningful ass kiss. And then we gone get married in space, have two alien demon hybrid children, and I let go the hopes of being Nomin's, Minsung's and Jaeyong's wedding planner for your sorry ass?" You rapped and he nodded in reply with the fakest smile one could conquer.
"Sir, I think the fuck not. I may have said we could have intercourse, but daz bout it dude." You quickly denied bro zoning him in the brocess.
The blonde male let out a defeated sigh, with a roll of the eyes and a scoff, "And this readers, is to conclude the reason why I despise humans." He looked toward the screen with an everlasting bitch face, and you wonder whomst the younger/ older was conversating with.
"Alright (Y/N), then how specifically do you want to go about this? Conversate with that bij of an author and tell her to change this shitty set up, into a more better one? Because I sure as hell ain't gone test that demonic bitch that killed us twice already?" The pale boy sassed and you only hissed remembering 'Runaway' and 'Tokyo's biggest fuck boy' ending
"Nwah g, we finna find another way to get out of the mess....... Uhm.... But first my brain can't think of anything right now. You need to get me some nuggies so that the Engene can start functioning again, and I can come up with an army of ideas that can separate us two nctizens instead of having us stay together. Get it??????" You started off on a serious note but then moved into VERY obvious references with your smile growing wider each one that left your lips, until your face was converted into nothing more than a shit eating grin.
"Stop being a kpop junkiee and let's find a way to actually give this story a ending that both of us would actually like." The demon complained and you sighed nodding in agreement.
But who knows?.... Maybe one out of the two of you actually wanted the ending how the author planned it out. Instead of what you may later discover to be a bad one.
To be continued
3k .....👀👀👀👀👀 Honestly... Is my eyes actually working right??????
YOU ARE READING
One-shot book (Chifuyu Matsuno)
Fanfiction"I am not making a fool of you good sir, I am simply implying that you should load me up like you would that gun of yours." - That one Y/N Just me writing some Chifuyu Matsuno oneshots in collaboration with @sakusapersonallysol to bring thou art l...
