ʜᴏᴜsᴇ ᴏғ ᴄᴀʀᴅs | Namjin (DISCONTINUED)

♣1: Seokjin♠

I look at the piece of shit- I mean the paper that the coconut headass handed me. Which my dumbass signed without even looking at it!

For God's sake, I'm so fucking dumb and I'm not even trying. :D

"W-what the hell is this? Is this a joke?" I look at the coconut- I mean Jungkook incredulously. And that motherfucker is still flashing his bunny grin.

I'm really tempted to punch that grin off his face. But I don't want his alpha or him to end me. So no.

"This is why I told you to look at it carefully." He spoke as he took a sip of his drink. I gritted my teeth and smacked my face. Hard

I'm such an idiot! I was an inexperienced virgin; never been kissed and never been touched! And now I'd signed myself up to get fucked by a random person that I don't even know.

What if he's a sixty year old ugly perverted guy??

Not to mention the fact that I'm a fucking omega. What if I get pregnant?! Wait no- I'm not in heat, so that's okay. But nevertheless, what the fuck has my dumb ass gotten myself into?!

I screamed in my hands in frustration.

"To be honest," Jungkook continued, "I knew you didn't know about the House of Cards and what we do here." Jungkook placed his cup on the table in front of us.

"That's why I was here to show you the agreement and explain before you can sign it. But.." his eyes fell on the contract, "The damage has been done, I guess. Welcome in." He smirked.

I frowned at him deeply.
"Now now," he smiled. "Don't make such a disagreeable face. You look like an ugly cyclops like that."

"EXCUSE ME YOU COCONUT HEADASS LOOKIN' BIT-"

"Anyway, I'll discuss this building now. I'm sure you're very curious. After all," he grinned mischievously. Bitch- "You're our new housemate."

I raised my eyebrow. "Our?" I asked, dumbfounded.

His smile extended into a smirk. "Do you think you're the only one who lives here, Seokjin?"

"You mean," I swallowed the lump tied inside my throat. "Other people live and fuck in here?"

"Mhm," Jungkook hummed. "I mean, you met Jimin and Yoongi-"

"Who?-" I asked. Then I remembered those two men fucking in the kitchen. I flushed beet red at the memory.

"Yeah, Jimin's the blonde bitch. And Yoongi's the black haired kinky guy." He said nonchalantly like the trauma I'd witnessed earlier was normal. "They also fuck a lot on a daily basis, so it's nothing new."

"Oh.." I said. I coughed, trying to swallow this knot in my throat.

"They're not the only ones here, you know. You'll meet all of them soon. Hopefully not when they're fucking, at least." Jungkook scrunched up his nose.

"Do you fuck in here too?" I asked curiously.

"Huh? Me?" He nodded. "Yes, of course. That's rule number one." He stated as if it's obvious.

"So-" he stood up from the couch and begun to walk off, "I'll go get your room ready. My babe will assign your partner, don't worry, he's an excellent matchmaker. You'll meet them today later tonight." He smirked as if he knew with whom I was assigned with.

"W-wait!-" Seokjin stood up and went after him. "About that-"

"Do you prefer males or females?" Jungkook asked, without stopping as he walked.

"Um! Males. But you see-"

"Do you do vanilla sex or BDSM?"
Why the fuck would we need vanilla while performing sex?
"What are those even?-"

"Kay, vanilla it is. Are you a submissive or a dominant?" He cut me off without even letting me speak.

"Um.. submi-" Bitch if you do that one more time I swear to Satan-

"I knew it. Are you kinky or innocent?" My eyes widened in embarrassment.

"That's kind of too straightforward-"
"Innocent it is." That fucker cut me off again :D.

"Hold up!" I screamed. Jungkook finally stopped walking and turned around. "About that, I actually want to withdraw the contract.."

Jungkook frowned and looked at me like he was figuring me out. "You can't do that."

I stared at him with big stupefied eyes. "Huh?"

He sighed and pointed at a particular part of the contract paper.

"Applicant's name and signature: Kim Seokjin
[Please take it into consideration. This contract cannot be terminated unless various consequences take place]"

"AKA, you can't."

I frowned at him. "That's just a stupid piece of paper! I didn't fully consent to this! I have every right to take this back." Jungkook sighed and stared at me like some Karen throwing a stupid tantrum.

"Okay then." He sighed. "Let's take this to the court." My eyes widened. He started to walk away.

"W-wait!" I stop him. That's when he smirked.

"So, do you agree to the terms and conditions?" I sighed. What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

--------------
Lucifer's note,

Well hello motherfuckers.

If y'all wanna question the humor, go ahead and question me 💀✊
Yes this shitty humor in this book is mine as according to Satan, her humor is "bRoKeN"

Bitcg, why tf u lyin
Why i always lyin
Mmmmhmmm oh ma gawd
Stob fuckin lyin

And she's being lazy as fuck 😭
Bitch this book isn't only my responsibility 😭

Anyway, love you moonstones 💙💙💙💙💙💙💜💜💜💜💜

(Quiindom this is what I came up with to call our readers. Is that okay-?)