Rom-com Gone Wrong (Hotch x Reader)// ✔

22. Alone Again

Summary:

Hotch learns to deal with what he heard at NYPD, struggling to be alone again after getting used to being with you

Notes:

this chapter brought to u by this idea my frien brought up on wanting to hear Hotch's pov (shoutout to @themodernmary - go read her stories ;D)
and the ridiculousness brought on by me lmao, love yall!

TW: nsfw-ish, some spice; sappiness, cheesiness and idk a lot of emo hotch :/

in italics: flashbacks

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One thing Aaron Hotchner didn't think he'd ever get adjusted to was a new relationship. Yet he did. It happened suddenly, like a comet falling, or stargazing when he spots a constellation he never thought he'd be able to recognize. Perhaps it was a pattern of his: seeing someone and deciding. He'd done it with Haley. Had seen her laugh and play around with her classmates and it had been such a simple want: be her friend then be more.

But now, after just getting out of another relationship, he realizes how it had happened again: he became used to being with someone.

That's what he notices first , at least. The lack of day to day communication: the calls, the texts - the emails even, whenever one of you got stuck doing paper work on your desks. Then comes the lack of comfort and constant support. The logical idea that it's not recommended to reach out, even though he badly, badly wants to.

He is a masochist. It's what he tells himself because the first few days you continue calling him. The text messages don't cease either. And he reads them all, like a maniac or a sap, once he is alone and in bed – and like he did once upon ago when he had first started to flirt with you .

You (11.23): did you take your phone to the shop? Get it checked out bcs my calls go to voice mail.

Hotch frowns, slightly winded as he imagines the look on your face: pout and furrowed brows, lip quivering because you can never be too harsh with anyone, unless it's your job to do so. He takes to mindlessly checking the news, looks up for anything happening in New York – another habit he'll have to get rid of.

You (11.45): Met someone from Homeland today.

He picks up the phone, questions popping in his head. The news said nothing about any threats. Nor did Garcia. Watches the text bubble slowly filling out.

You (11.46): They're holding a seminar next week and I'm supposed to pick which members would be suitable for supplementary training for bomb threats. I wasn't expecting to enjoy this level of decision-making.

His heart stammers a bit. It does every single time you write about work. And you always do, despite him not replying. It's not malice, but he's conflicted. Wills his head and heart to follow the cold clarity separations require: become detached.

He can't.

Nor can he the next day.

In the break room of the BAU floor, Morgan and JJ pester Reid over the usual: a recent book he finished, a movie, or one of his latest obsessions with quantum physics. This time, Hotch catches glimpses of a shy laugh, and a flushed face.

"...yes, he, uh, has a conference in D.C on Thursday and we made plans."

"Weekend plans?" Morgan wiggles his eyebrows, "That's a big step"