Why (not) Me

Prologue - Shiganshina District Year 850

Eren Yeager sat atop the tall wall that surrounded the city he once called home, contemplating the events of the past few hours.

The air smelt of smoke.

The fires below had seemingly stopped but the smell of smoke and vaporized Scouts would not go away. There seemed to be no escape from the destruction; Eren saw signs of his comrades everywhere. Blood from those who were not as lucky as he splattered cobblestone paths and the sides of buildings. The heavy smoke from the fires that had raged beneath still had not dissipated. The smells were all-permeating, Eren could only compare the smell as a charred piece of meat being wrapped around an essence of copper, so tangy it could make your eyes water and your throat swell up in distaste. It made him feel sick.

Looking down at Grisha's books that he clutched in his hands only worsened his nausea. It was the Scouts' goal to reach this basement for what felt like years. Now, even though they've made the journey, morale is at an all-time low. What they'd uncovered was significant. However, the cost was immense—no one had the will to leave.

The ones who had survived the battle were entirely drained of their strength.

Many of his comrades died for only books that Eren was now holding. Out of the 208 Scouts that had departed, only 9 remained. They fought for the knowledge contained within these pages; for the hope that whatever they contained could defeat the Titans. But the books are cryptic. What had they fought for? What had they all died for? Eren's nausea overcame him and he began to dry heave.

"Eren?"

Whatever was left in his stomach had been sent off the side of the wall.

There's too much blood, too much destruction, and for what? What have we achieved? What have we lost?

The questions wouldn't stop. Eren's knees quaked.

"Hey Eren, stop that. You need whatever strength you have left when we head back to Sina."

His eyes rose to see Levi only a few steps away. He flinched for only a second— Levi's kicking had never really left his mind.

"I'll be fine, I'll eat something before we go."

"Try some water before you eat anything if we even have any left," Levi suggested.

"I'm fine Captain, I'll take what I can."

Levi nodded, "We're leaving soon. We found a few stray horses left. We're lucky—if there were none, we'd have to walk back to Sina, which would be just great." He ended sarcastically.

"Eren, here," said Mikasa as she appeared from behind Levi. Having her near was comforting for Eren. It's always been like that with Mikasa. She offered him a container of water; he took it without speaking a word.

"Alright everyone, we have something we need to discuss before we leave," Commander Hange spoke in front of the group. Hange took the role of Commander after Erwin's demise—there weren't many options but they were a better candidate than Levi. With only 9 Scouts remaining, Hange had to take the lead. They needed to convince the group that what they did today was not worthless.

"Let's talk specifics here—we've reclaimed Shiganshina district, and with it, Wall Maria. This is a huge win for the people of the Walls. Citizens can move back to their homes—although, ahem, Shiganshina will need significant work before that happens."

Eren heard Jean scoff at their comment, "Yeah, no kidding. It's only burning below us as we speak."

"Yes, Jean, that's correct."