Nothing is ever lost

Hello Hawkins

I'm on my way to Hawkins to meet my foster family. I arrived at the airport a couple of hours ago. It's a two hour drive from the airport to Hawkins. I wonder what they will be like. Do they have more kids? Do they have pets? Oh I hope they have a dog, I love dogs. One thing I'll know for sure is that it's better than my dad's house. I did some research on the way and it seems like I'll probably be going Hawkins High school. I hope the people are nice here, I could really use some friends. 

Suddenly the car stops. 

'We're here.' the driver says.

'Thank you.' I say, open the door and get out of the car.

I see a man and a woman standing in front of their house. They're walking towards me.

'You must be Sabrina!' the woman says while shaking my hand 'I'm Edith and this is my husband Mark. We're the Millers'

'Nice to meet you.' Mark says.

'Nice to meet you too. Thanks for taking me in.'

'Ofcourse kid, you're gonna love it here!' Edith says 'let us take your luggage inside.'

'Okay' I say with a smile.

I walk towards the house and go inside. A dog starts barking.

'Oh we forgot to tell you, we have a dog. His name is Bernie Benson. Are you scared of dogs?'

I laugh. 'Haha no I'm not scared of dogs. I've always wanted one but you know... we couldn't.. I like his name. Very original.'

'I'm sorry Sabrina..' Edith says.

'I think Bernie will like you. He has a new friend now.' Mark says 'let me show you your bedroom.'

We walk up the stairs. They only have three rooms and a bathroom. We walk in to a room which I think used to be the guestroom.

'This will be your room for now. You can decorate it how you'd like. Tell us and we will buy stuff.'

'Thanks.' I say. The room reminds me of my room at my dads house. The window is in the same place and the bed is in the corner.. just like it was in Indianapolis.

'It's late so we should probably go to sleep.' Edith says while she puts my bags in the room.

'Will you be alright?' she asks 'if you need anything just wake us okay?'

I nod my head. 'Thank you, Goodnight.'

'Goodnight Sabrina.' Mark says

I sit down on my bed. This room gives me chills. I'm gonna try to get some sleep but i don't think it will be easy. I put pyjama's on and crawl into bed. I stare at the ceiling and manage to fall asleep. I wake up in the middle of the night. I hear screaming. It sounds like my dad. But it can't be.. he's dead. I assure myself. 'It's all in my head, it's all in my head' I whisper to myself 'go away, go away.' I hear him scream things like you're useless or I hate you. Just awfully mean things that he used to say to me. I cover my ears with my hands and start crying. The screaming stops after a while. Should I tell the Millers? I'm hesitant but I don't want to bother them with my troubles. I fall asleep again.

I've been with The Millers for a month now. I haven't told them about my first night and the many ones after that. They're so nice, i don't want to worry them. I keep getting these flashbacks of him when he drank and ran after me with empty wine bottles. Whenever I see a glass bottle or creditcards I panic. It takes me back to that house. My current room is also a huge trigger. The cut he gave me on Christmas eve made place for a scar. They never mentioned it. I haven't slept well in a month. I started school on Monday but haven't made any friends yet. I can't seem to focus on my schoolwork either. I'm not doing very well. They do notice that but they don't talk to me about it. They're very distant. I think they just don't know how to communicate with me. I wish I could talk to someone about it. Sometimes I wonder what my life would've been like if my mother was still alive. My dad never told me her name. He didn't tell me much about her in general. I don't think he was very fond of her, which is weird because they were married. He never said a nice word about her. I wonder how she died and what she was like. Maybe she would've protected me from all of this...