I'm Not Okay and That's Not Alright (Jeff the Killer x Ben Drowned)

Chapter 4

Beep.
Beep.

Ben's POV

Silence had risen, and the only thing I could here was the soft beeping of a heart monitor next to me. I was engulfed in darkness even though I was aware of the sounds around me. I couldn't believe this. What happened? Am I dying? Where was Jeff? Did he do this or did he save me? Even though I still was upset due to what he did to me a small part of me loved him still. And forever.
I was still out but heard everything. It took forever to finally hear something going on. A familiar voice entered the room, sadly my brain had seemed to washed out.
"Is he going to be okay?" The voice croaked, while he walked into the room since the footsteps got louder as he spoke. The doctor, I guess, muttered a few things that I could barely make out. My anger grew inside me. Why the hell was I this bad? What happened? My brain was completely brainwashed and I could do nothing about it. I hate this! I couldnt move, couldn't speak, couldn't see, couldn't do anything. My body was extremely weak, and no one could do anything about it. The guilt grew inside me bit by bit and all I wanted to do was scream till another voice slithered in. Through the small mumbles and soft whispers, I figured out it was Jeff! Jeff was here! To visit! The guilt and anger was replaced by my excitement as I felt a warm presence next to me. I felt it through my legs, but stop at my arms which confused me but worrying was out of the question. Jeff was here, with me. I heard him sit down and take a deep breath as footsteps grew softer but they weren't his.
"Ben, if you can hear me. I want you to know. I-I...I am sorry" He whimpered out then was followed by sniffles. What was going on?

Jeff's POV

Everything now worried me. Ben was...I can't even say it. It's so hard to admit. But I remember the sight. The blood. Glitch. How can he believe that? He was a well known creepypasta that just everyone had admired. I'm sure if they knew we were actually alive, they'd convince him that he wasn't. How dare he do this! How dare he. But then again...he did this because of me. How dare me. How dare me! God dammit! This wasn't his fault, it was my own god damn fault! He came out to me and I ran away. Stupid! I can't believe this..to be honest, him in pain caused me pain. But I-I just never felt anything towards him. Never anything sexual, just nothing. These thoughts ate at my brain and I needed closure. That's how I ended up next to his hospital bed, in tears.
"Ben if you can hear me, I want you to know I-I'm so sorry.." I managed to get out. Then I soon resulted into a burst of tears. Seeing him lay there, on the verdge of life and death. How dare I, myself, do this to him. He did nothing wrong..nothing at all.
"Ben, just know you're not a glitch." I continued.
"I shouldn't have ran off like that..I just was majorly shocked. I didn't know how to take it all. But now I know I shouldve took it not like that. If...if you do die Ben, for good this time. Just know.." I stopped holding back tears again. If Ben died, and left for good. How would I manage? And yes, Doctors said there is a 75% chance he will be gone. Hearing that when I came to check in on him a few days ago, broke me in so many ways. I shook of the thoughts and tears, regaining my sense.
"Just know you never deserved this, or anything. You deserve best Ben. And also know..you saved me from the monster I really am. Thank you for that, Ben. I remember the first day you arrived and..and you came up to me talking about your 'terrible fate' which made me realize, you were the same as me. Plus you just accepted me for who I was. You didn't care about my forever smile or my pale face. You.." Sniffle.
"You loved me."
And with that my tears became sobs letting my head rest in my hands. Maybe something was in my heart that I truley loved Ben. But I was way to confused to understand if I did or not. I hesitantly grabbed his hand squeezing it softly.
"and um Ben, you'll never be a glitch to me." I whispered then let go of his hand walking out of the hospital. I needed air. I needed his voice which lingered in my head. Ben..Ben.

Ben's POV

Jeff's words touched me. Deeply and lovingly. He spoke with such softness that it made my heart grow warm. I tried to speak or give him a sign I was okay, but my body was still weak. Dammit!
Instead of making myself angrier, I listened to his words. You loved me is what I heard making my body freeze. Well at least my thoughts. I know I told him that, but he told me it now. Wow. Jeff was changing because of all this. After his words, I felt the warmth come closer but felt nothing touch me. But I felt it, the air. What? Now I freaked out. I wanted to know everything right now. Not later, not in a week. Right. Now!

3 days later-

I still laid still in the darkness, and I don't know how much time has passed. I got very often visits from Jeff, letting him update me on how the other members were doing. To be honest, everyone seemed majorly depressed. I had such a impact on people. Why? I was only just a glitch. I mean, come on. Just think of my past and my death. I drowned for crying out loud! And plus, family found me as a pest so who would love an annoying boy like me. Not Jeff for sure. Pft!
Anyways, here I am. Letting those thoughts consume me. I'd hear the Doctors talk some days which would help me stop thinking about it. Like Nurse Donna had just informed everyone that her mom had breast cancer. Wow, I feel horrible for her. Her condition was way worst then mine, but I am still complaining. Just shut up Ben!
"How's he doin' today, Doc?" A voice chimed in the room. And I just knew it was Jeff. He is always such an Idiot when people were around but once that doctor left he'd be all tears.
"Still making short progress, but could be still on the edge of going. " The doctor replied. I knee by that statement, Jeff was already frowning. I know him.
"Ah, I see..How's his arms..?" Jeff asked softly. See!
"Marks are becoming scars. But his body is still numb from his knock out from the lost of blood."
Damn, I'm doing horrible.
"May I get my alone visiting hours now?"
"You may."
and with that the doctors footsteps faded and Jeff's got louder.
"Ben, Please. Don't give up. Not now..not forever."
I wanted to cry, but my body was to busy..dying.

Jeff's POV

So many days have passed and Ben is still out. We don't know if he can hear us or not, but I really hope he can. I want him to hear the things im saying. I want him to understand that I hate myself for this. I was so stupid to make a person like Ben, hate himself. Glitch...I now hate that word.
Many hospital visits and basically me talking to myself. It made me angrier. He lost so much because of what I did. And today was gonna be another hospital visit just like that. I walked through the plain automatic sliding doors to the front desk, where I greeted the lovely lady who I spoke too sometimes when I was so angry at myself. She'd calm me down. Thank god. After greeting her, I walked to Ben's hospital room which was just down the hallway. I walked in to see Ben lying there. Parts of his blonde shaggy hair was in his face which made me smirk. Ben never really cared about his hair but I'd always try to make him care. Which always worked. I sat next to his hospital bed and squeezed his hand.
"Mornin' Ben." I greeted him softly.
No response.
"Well, I hope you are still hanging in there because..to be honest I miss you badly man."
Of course I just had to add the 'man' in there. I squeezed his hand tighter. I needed him here not dead. I needed my best friend, the one that was the only one that loved me. I do feel something towards him but I'm not sure. I just don't know. Ben, I'm so sorry.
"Okay, Ben. Let me tell you something..I really don't know what I am. I don't know if I'm attracted to males or what not, but just..Ben, Please don't give up."
and nothing or no one replied. I sighed deeply standing up to leave before the beeps started to increase and Ben's chest started to rise and fall slower. No, no!
Ben's POV

After those words were said, I lost all feeling. No warmth, no air, no sound, just silence. The feeling of weakness started to grow inside me and everything felt as if it was slowly disappearing. No..No! Don't let me give up now! No, I need Jeff! I need to live! For him! I wanted to scream, cry do whatever that would let me know I was going to live but everything was hopless. I soon felt a jolt inside me, a fluid run through my veins, and more jolts. Please let someone save my dying body. My hearing came back but my body felt in death mode. I heard sobs, screams. Jeff's!
"DON'T YOU DARE GIVE UP BEN! I SWEAR! I NEED YOU HERE MORE THEN ANYTHING!"
He still wouldn't say anything about loving me, nothing. I wanted to give up now. I was usless. Glitch. I let the numbness take me away and sounds became muffled. And right before I let myself drift off I heard those three little words. And then, I saw the beautiful face that I loved that first day and forever. I wouldn't let go.