A small spider|Ongoing

chapter 2

The alpha wook up with a startle choking on the little air that squeezed into his lungs, his eyes shot wide quickly scanning his surroundings, The a sound came throughout his ears, a small dim sound of choking, a deep throat choke, a begging choke. He scanned the pitch black room for a sign, the source of the sound that split his eardrums. "Buck" finally a voice sounded, the alpha's eyes finally going in front of him. It was a familiar blond clawing at his metal arm, 'it had acted on his own' he would protest if anyone dared ask.

His eyes widened in terror quickly letting the blond alpha go.

The blond fell to the floor holding a hand to his neck inhaling breath after breath. As bad as it was the alpha didn't move, didn't bat an eye, or jump to help he was still in temporary shock, he felt glued to his mattress as he could not find the strength to will himself off to help. "Steve" his voice processed, it was just steve, bucky, just steve.

"You were having a nightmare I just wanted to uh help" his voice sighed, that's when he relished he had been sweating the black tank top wrinkled and sweat filled his hair a mess the low bun discarded.

"I'm sorry" he tried " no buck it's ok you uh didn't know" he quickly followed the alpha's words trying his best to make it seem like what he did was ok, he could have killed him if his arm willed it self to just squeeze a little harder if he noticed a second to late, would it be ok then? Would the other alpha still try to make the alpha feel better?

Bucky then looked back at his too thin sheets for the cold winter, but for him to be an ex assassin he could care less as his nightmares made every day hotter.

A silence fell over the room where neither alpha knew what to do nor say, so as the blond alpha got off the ground and hesitantly stood there before walking out not before he could throw a sympathetic look at bucky.

Steve had lost his mating mark shortly after Peggy had died just as he got that text message annoching to him of her passing, and even before then, before he had got into contact with Peggy he was away from her. Spending his ruts alone refusing to get with any omega and suffering the whole time just because he loyalty and love was to strong to get with another even if in the back of his mind he might have thought there could be a chance he had known there might be a chance that she had already passed, so he knew what what is was like to be away from his mate and he knew he would never understand how close they must have gotten whilst in HYDRA but he knew the pain of not being with one another.

And as bucky watched steve close his room door he felt the itch and the burn of his soul mark, it was always tender and sensitive ever since he had left the base even on missions when he still did hydra's dirty work it was a bother, the itch of needing to be with his omega as his inner alpha howled at the Lost .

The inner Alpha in him hated the fact that he could barely remember his omega's face, How even if he tried to empty his brain just to feel the face just to try and remember a simple detail he Could not end his inner Alpha whimper and growled at the fact .

But there were these distinct features about him, his personality So soft and so innocent much unlike the alpha, his smile so bright it would light up his room and his life and he loved the way his lips quirked up when he felt happy, and the omega's soft pink lips which would break out into a face breaking smile, and those beautiful Chestnut eyes that every time you was going to be able to look like a lost deer strook in headlights, to his soft Brown curls and the way it flopped over his face.

He could feel the burn on his neck how his scent glads felt blocked It always felt like torture the way he'd have to wake up without the person he'd dare say he loved, who he shared such vulnerable parts of his like with and gave his inatmcy and love to, it was hard and people always thought they knew everything about how he must feel but how could they? They weren't the ones who even though he dismissed it bangaged him up after his cruelest of missonis, they weren't the ones that calmed him down after a panic attack, they would never be able to understand yet they thought they knew everything and anything about him like they had him under control and--

And he needed to calm down, as he looked down at his clenched fist he let go trying to imagine what his omega smelt like, probably a mix between apples and sweet honey, of warmth. And with that thought he was at easy letting a warm feeling wrap around him and his heart as calmed scents poured out his scent glands, as he unclenched the sheet from the wrath of his fist he was no longer tense and as birds began to chirp from outside, as a soft sunlight escaped into his room from the half closed blinds he looked up, looked up at the sun and the yellowish and pink tones of the sky that was no longer a pitch black and the tall buildings but not quite as tall as the one he lived in, he felt okay for once, no longer did he care for the nightmare he had previously and if he dare to say it he was at ease. And as he got out of his bed blanching himself and looked out the window, he felt more ready for his day than usual.