Fate and Destiny (The Fated Series, #2)

Chapter 83 - Fauna - Tension

I'm still jumpy from last night. Seeing the fear in Roseia's eyes and not knowing what to do to keep that knife from moving really got to me. I was practically useless, powers and all. What good is all this training if it doesn't keep her alive and safe?

I argued with her last night too after it all happened. I wanted her to go back to Fernweh where she would be safe behind the walls and wards and in Willa's care. She didn't want to let go of Darius who didn't necessarily help by holding onto her tighter and not taking a side. He clearly thought my idea was the right one, but he didn't want to let her go either. He's the only reason I didn't tell Rohana to take the girl's hand and mist her back. That and the fact that I, myself, felt like I'd worry more if she was several miles away, too far for us to make it in time.

It only takes a second for a knife to pierce the heart, and it takes a second for the Ginerva to mist. We could be too late, but with what happened and where we're going, I don't think it's best for her to be at our side.

Last night rattled everyone. I wasn't the only one who got very little sleep and is now training on low energy. Breakfast sounds absolutely delicious right now, but we've still got another hour before we start the cool down.

I'm not angry.

Ok, that's a lie. I am furious, but more at myself than anyone. I was supposed to keep her safe, and she nearly died. I'm more scared than anything. Scared of what arriving tomorrow night will bring when we arrive. Scared for everyone around me and their lives. Scared that just like last night, I may not be enough. My power may not be enough.

All this anger and fear pours into my movements. Mal goes on the defensive as I push forward. I feel myself start to move quicker, more anxiously, but I don't stop. He blocks the blows and moves before he can catch the ones he doesn't. So I keep going. I go until he's on his back and clearly not able to block another blow. Before I can stop, the blade flies from my hand and lands right between his legs.  m

I scream in frustration, instantly lowering into a crouch and closing my eyes. I hold the palm swell of the second fighting knife in both hands, the cool metal pommel sitting against my forehead as I try to clear my thoughts by attempting to focus on my heavy breathing.

I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have lashed out at him when he's done nothing wrong. One wrong thought with one dangerous maneuver and I could've injured him. Badly. I could've sent him to Willa who's the only person who could save his Goddam life from my rookie mistake. I can't be injuring the only people I trust. Not when we're all going to need each other the most. I just...I almost lost her.

"Clare." I don't answer. "Hey."

I look at Mal, now truly angry with myself for nearly messing up the pretty face. He doesn't seem fazed though. Perfectly calm, no sign of remorse or anger. It makes me feel worse, somehow.

"It's okay to let it out," he tells me. "Let it out, Clare."

He stands and takes a few steps back, lowering into a defensive stance. I stay vulnerable on my knees, and he just gestures with his fingers for me to come forward. Lance steps up beside him and tries to tell him that he'll take over, but Mal shrugs him off and never lets his gaze leave mine.

"I got it."

"Mal-"

"I got it."

Lance glances at me once, then steps away and back into the large circle everyone's now formed around us. I stand slowly, pulling my other fighting knife out of the ground. I lower into my stance and rock on my toes, but I don't move. I don't want to hurt him.

"Let it out, Clare."

I consider everyone around us. If I get too close to hurting him, they'll stop it. They'll stop it.