The silence of the cemetery was peaceful. Bumisita ako sa puntod ng anak ni Khalil. It's been 4 years since our baby decided to be an angel and 4 years na rin mula nang maghiwalay kami pero every year, sabay kami dumadalaw dito to celebrate our baby's birthday.
Malapit na ako nang makita ko na may nakapark na BMW malapit sa mausoleum. My guess is si Khalil 'yon. He never fails to visit talaga kahit pasko at bagong taon, that's what I liked about him when we were together. If he really love someone, gagawin n'ya lahat for that person.
"Khalil, hi!" I greeted him. He turned around to look at me. He looks so pogi pa rin after all these years. I wonder how Jade would have looked like kung nandito s'ya with us.
"Good to see you, my love. Kumusta?" He said, obviously joking. Natawa lang ako dahil hindi naman love ang tawagan namin before when we were together.
"I'm doing good. Ikaw?" I answered. Napansin ko na nagtulos na s'ya ng kandila and placed tulips na rin beside the niche. Ang gaganda ng mga tulips, lagi ako binibigyan ni Khalil ng tulips noon whenever we went on dates.
Flames ignited from the matchstick which I used to light the candles I brought para ilagay beside the candles na itinulos n'ya.
"Same. Did you bring cookies? Is it my favorite kind?" Tanong n'ya.
I smiled, "Yes, those are the same cookies na ginagawa ko noon.. I thought Jade would have liked it, too. Kuha ka nalang d'yan if you want." I gave him a pack containing cookies. "Ang bilis 'no? It's been 4 years already."
He's trying to hide his sadness but I know him too well para maitago n'ya 'yon sa akin, too well for my own sake.
"Ang bilis nga. Alam mo ba? Akala ko, by this time, may kapatid na si Jade, we would have been married already and living in our own house. Pero, I guess it just wasn't meant to be."
Something inside me fluttered when he said that. Hindi ko naman alam na he was thinking that far into the future. Well, nothing will change naman kahit na alam ko 'yon.
Bigla ko naimagine, I would be baking cookies tapos si Jade and his baby brother would be playing together with Khalil. God, what a dream! I wouldn't say that it will be a perfect family pero for me, it is more than enough. Gano'n lang naman ang pangarap ko, yung kumpleto ang pamilya.
We talked for hours, catching up before he got a call from his office. Kinailangan n'ya na bumalik to his office because of an issue.
Bumusina s'ya bago tuluyan na nga na umalis while I take my time before I leave because this will be the last time na bibisita ako kay Jade for the next years. I was offered a job in the UK. Hindi ko alam kung kailan ako susunod na makakadalaw ulit dito, kaya gusto ko na sulitin ngayon. My flight is tomorrow at hindi ko talaga sinabi kay Khalil na aalis na ako bukas dahil panigurado an malulungkot s'ya. Ipapaalam ko na lang pagdating ko roon.
Going abroad has always been my dream even before when I was a kid. Alam 'yon ng lahat ng pamilya at kaibigan ko. I want to explore the world pero dahil mahirap lang ang pamilya ko, kailangan ko gumawa ng paraan para mapagsabay ko ang sarili ko at ang pamilya ko.
I noticed na paubos na ang kandila na itinulos ko. I started tidying up the place and said my goodbyes to Jade.
"Baby, mamita is sorry. I can't visit you in the coming years pero I'm sure naman that papa will be here for you. Iiwan muna kita kay papa, ha? I just need to get away from this painful world, baby. Sayang lang kasi I can't bring you with me. I promise, when I come home, lagi kita bibisitahin kahit araw-araw pa 'yan. I love you, my baby. Lagi mo kami babantayan nila Papa from up there, ok? See you later, my love."
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