He loves me, he loves me not

I had to have him...

I couldn't sleep for days. Reliving this day where our eyes locked for a long five minutes. How my heart raced, how I could felt the blood rushed in my face.  i felt hot then cold, then hot again. It was like a dream.   His eyes were like two dark holes. They pierce through my soul and straight to my heart.  I was in love...

I have been in love for some time now, I know. But not like this.  I have to have him.  I crave for him now. 

I started following him everyday now. 

I think he noticed me.  He tried to use different path trying to lose me but I always fimd him.  Standing in front of his house I can see him peering at me through his curtains.  He probably thinks im crazy by now. But I didnt care.

This lasted for weeks.  Then finally one day I think he had enough.  Only two blocks before he got to his house he stopped abruptly and turned around to face me.

"What the hell?" He only says

I froze.   I never though of what to say if that happened.  Even though I would have, I dont know what to answer to that. I  knew he would eventually ask me why I was following him or he would call the police.  Then again, I knew he wouldn't call the police because he loves me too.   He doesn't realize it yet but he does.

" you gotta stop this or ill call the cops!" He added with anger in his voice.

I could see he was trying to stay calm. I took two steps forward and he immediately took two steps back.  Looking straight at me trying to seize if I am dangerous or not. 

" I am Celia" I let out as if answering to a question.

He stared at me for a moment. Then, I guessed he decided I wasn't dangwrous after all because he smiled and replied

" I know"

He knows ! I had buzzing in my hear and my heart wanted to burst out of my chest.  He knew me. I wanted to cry, I wanted to jump. 

He probably saw the surprise in my face.  he clarified.

"Everybody knows you by now"

Confusion, joy and surprise got all mixed up in my head. He continued with a voice I knew too well.  Pity.

" they all know you as "crazy Celia" 

I didnt know how to react to that. Surely this past week I had realized that people were kind of avoiding me.  I would walk in a class and all conversation stopped and they will start again whispering this time. But I couldnt care less.  I only had him in mind only him.  He had to know im not a lunatic and that I am crazy but crazy for him.  From all the beautiful words and catchy phrases in my head only a faint : " I am not crazy"  came out.

" I know you are not." He quickly corrected. " but you have to stop following me around... it's freaking me out a little. He added with a timid smile.

he smiled at me again.  His smile was like the rest of him.   Surreal and magical.  Everything else got cloudy in my mind and the only thing remaining was that I had to have him.

" Can we talk ?" I just said

He looked surprised.   It seemed like he was analyzing the situation for a moment then finally agreed.

" we can walk" I added walking down the alley to a small park behind the residential area. 

He hesitated for a moment, looked around  and followed me.