My pulse races. It’s out there now. The ugly question we’ve been tip-toeing around all night. The shock on his face is warranted I suppose. I mean, it was sort of random. But then again, not really. I think we both saw it coming. He stares at his lap now, not making eye contact with me. The tears of anger, pain, loss, and heart break trickle down my face relentlessly.
“Avery, I-,” he starts, but pauses, biting his lip. “I don’t-,” he tries again, struggling for words. He shakes his head, unsure of how to continue. “I just. . . Had to. . . I can’t…”
“Please,” I whisper through my tears, “I just need an answer Jackson. I just want to know what I did wrong.” The tears in his eyes threaten to spill over.
“Oh Aves,” he says, shaking his head, “You didn’t do anything. None of this was your fault.” I know he means this in a comforting, sweet way, but all it does is frustrate me.
“Then what was it Jackson?” I ask through clenched teeth, mad and upset and unsure of what to say or do, “Explain it to me. Because I don’t understand.” His tears finally start to escape, coursing down his face in streams. He wipes his eyes several times, taking a deep breath, and we’re both on the brink of full blown sobbing.
“The thing is,” He continues at last, “I don’t you can handle the answer.” He wrings his hands and looks down, avoiding my eyes. I sigh at his weak attempt to avoid my questions.
“It was over three years. No sort of communication, no explanations. Suddenly, you just disappeared, and I had nothing left of you but a letter apologizing. Don’t you think I at least deserve an explanation?” He sighs this time in defeat and nods his head, acknowledging that I’ve won.
“You deserve so much more than just an explanation. You deserve a guy that wouldn’t just desert you for three years with no explanation, then show up next to you on a plane. You deserve to have every second of your life to be perfect.” He shakes his head, then bites his lip, pops his knuckles, which he knows I hate, and finally looks me in the eye. “You really want an explanation Aves?”
“More than anything. And I will know if you’re making up something stupid.” I actually know that
A. I probably don’t actually want the truth, and
B. I will not be able to tell if he’s lying,
but I feel like it’s the only way to lay the questions to rest, once and for all. He nods once more, slowly, and takes a deep breath.
“Okay. If you’re sure?” He asks one final time.
I respond with finality, sounding much more sure than I actually feel.
“I’m sure.”
YOU ARE READING
A Change of Plans
ChickLitAfter he left her without a word, Avery planned on never having to deal with Jackson again. But when he shows up next to her on an airplane, three years later, with his heart on his sleeve and his wit in his eyes, Avery's world takes a 180 degree tu...
