une fois sur trois, pour toi

Knees on the wall

I know that I should not wright this...
but it's  the only way I can really express myself so...I'm just sorry...

scream
scream
scream

Everything is great when you pretend it never happen..
Everything is great when i pretend you doesn't exist anymore...
When i remember all the shit and all the lies you said about me..
All the fk shit i did to you...
And all the fk shit i did not
You'll never fk excuse yourself for all the shit you've done to me
You just fk never understand how much you hurt me
You just fk want to hurt me again and again

..Stop..

It seams so easier to you just so fk easier..
To forget one fk years and build somebody in your mind that you hate to be okay
I know that this is what you want for me
You want me to scream
suffer
cry
and cry
you won.
Are you happy then..?
I dont fk know why I want you to be happy
Why I fk want to take care of you
Why the fuck i feel like this about you?!?!
About a fk person that doesn't exist anymore
I hate you!
I don't fk know why you don't want to let me explain you the truth and  just close it to our life
What do you fk want from me???
What the fuck do you fk want from me
Stop!
Just fk stop!
Is it really easier as that much for you..?
Seriously..?
I'm on the floor
Then youre happy now?
You've got what you want?
I would give fk everything to hear that your great and Lucie is great and you dit great at school, at work and life
I would fk give anything...
I just dont understand...
Why when i feel like this you are..just persist to want me suffer
I dont understand why you become like this...
I dont fk know what to do...
To fk forget..
To pretend again
And convience myself it never happen
You never exist
I tried so hard...
When you where hear, i never felt more fake and Helpless in my entire life
Just..what the fuck...
Strangers..
I know that i give you what you want right now
I know...
I fk know...
I'm bleeding..
I'm crying..
Memories..
Memories are so fk hard...you just laft on it..
And it so easier to you...
I realise how much all your fk feelings were fake
All the words, every time you smile, every time i look inside your eyes..
How much...
How much it was fake...

Scream
Scream

The fk wall between us
That fk wall...
I would give anything to have a sledgehammer
I dont fk understand why its so easier to you..
Dont you fk love me one second of your life...
Dont you...really...
Or dont you fk give an effort to pretend it...
I just want to understand why..
I dont understand why you hate me as that much..
I just dont understand...
Why you are gone easier as that much...without anything..
I just want to understand why...
It doesnt matter if you want to scream at me
If you want to hurt me...
I'll take it
And i will respect it if is what you want...
I just want you to say it to me...
I just want to be honest whit whats really happen Say good bye..
I know that you dont want to..
And i know that you dont give a fuck about it..
I wish so hard...
That you are okay..
Sorry..
Sorry to be vulnerable...
I know you will use it...
I'm just sorry for being...
~~
Inside i really hope that you are okay..
That you're strong as you show
You know as much as me that I wasn't good..
I was just a phase
I think that's the best i can do for you..