Today was the day, I finally did it. I walked into that room and sucked the shit out of it. And once I finished marched home and screamed:
"I'VE OFFICIALLY FUCKING LOST IT!"
I sigh in disbelief of what i've just done, and I regretted it, I regretted it so bad.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY YOUNG LADY"
Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
SHIT! That was my mom.
CRAP. I'm doomed. I thought she'd still be working. I panic at the sound of my mom's feet heavily marching down the stairs. What was I going to do, she warned me about this, she told me what she would do.
"I said, I 'm trying to finally become a poet." What? I wasn't even sure what I just said there, first thing that came to my head that rhymed. It didn't cut it, I knew she would think I'm lying,that I said what I said, and why would I want to be a poet anyway, I was terrible in English. And every other subject for that matter.
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I bet you all thought I lost my virginity, ha, I wish. No, this time I failed my test and I was sure of it.
My mom had told me at the beginning of the school year that if I didn't have a 75% average on my report card, she would ship me off to England so I can study at a strict/hardworking school bla bla bla. I never really believed her until recently, last week. She screamed like never before. Crying and complaining about how my grades were the key to my future, she seriously showed me the inscription papers for the school in England. Ew. Just the name was making me gag; Gusten Prairie High School of Education. Like what the hell. So it hit me that she was serious so I decided to study, for the test that I just did (and failed) but soon enough I was procrastinating. I swear if there would be a career for procrastination I would be the top student. Procrastinating ended up in watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians until 3 am. And soon enough ending up in me falling asleep with my tv and light on.
Waking up with a headache the next morning was not fun, let me tell you. But then I realized I was doing the test today and I was like shit. I thought hard about it and told my mom I wasn't going in today because I didn't feel good. She chuckled:
"Yeah, right. I know you have a test today your teacher e-mail'ed me and told me some interesting things as well"
Me: "Really, what could be sooooo interesting about me" I say sarcastically.
Mom: "Perhaps that you've been FAILING EVERY TEST THIS YEAR IN ENGLISH." Her voice rose unexpectedly. "AND IF YOU FAIL THIS TEST TODAY YOU FAIL THE YEAR SINCE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN PASSING ANYTHING ELSE THIS TERM!!!"
Me: "Jeez, okay"
Mom: "NO YOU..." She took a deep breath and calmed down. "You know what'll happen if you fail this test" she said it as if I died.
Me: "Calm down, you're so dramatic God. Can I go get ready now before I'm late for this supposed test"
Mom: "Urgh. Go! I love you but I hate you're attitude"
Me: "me too, the love part"
I got dressed went to school, and "did" the test.
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Mom: "What are you saying? that you want to become a poet?"
Me: "Nevermind"
Mom: "So how was the test? How do you think you did" she was smiling so big I felt bad.
Me: "I failed, I didn't even try"
Her jaw dropped its like she had no control of it, and I've seen her jaw-drop but this was intense. She burst out the louder screams of words I think a human has ever screamed.
After a long dispute between my mother and I, I was officially sentenced to the rest of HIGH SCHOOL IN ENGLAND AT OLD MCDONALD'S HAD A FARM SCHOOL! FML.
E! I! E! I! O!
