Online dating

2

Wait what? It's a website that sets up blind dates, isn't that what your friends do? My computer is now my job and my friend and only company.

NAME

Derek M. (I'm not putting my full name on a blind date website).

Orientation

All of the above

I continued entering tidbits of me as they asked (wow it really is my best friend), until it got to skills/talents. Uhhhh.

Maybe I'll let drunk me handle this. To the bar! (I seem really happy about walking a mile to drink away my emotions).

On my way I see drag queens and kings. I wish I could pull it off I'm just this mush. Wait gender expression doesn't relate to identity so I can wear a dress if I felt like it (just I'll never be able to walk in stilettos). I want to by a dress and squeeze into it. Maybe then I'll be attractive.

Now that I think of it gender is weird we should just through it away cause we are equal either way (even though there is more than just 2).

The bar is cheap. I order some wine but it seems too good for me. It's a drink stop being so picky, it's not all about you there is people living on the streets and I don't even drink wine because it's too good for me.

I can't even get car parked.

There's a man near me now I have a bad feeling but never judge a book by its cover, I know I hated it when people ran from me.

He is getting closer. He is grabbing my arm, I guess it's like the bullies did during school, except this guy pushed me against a brick wall instead of a wall of lockers. The punches hurt the same if anything there's less punches and there sloppier most likely from booze.

I take each hit and I hear him shout "your hideous" and "your lucky I found you hot" when he starts unbuckling his belt.

"This is the only thing your good for" he spits on my back. He thrusts right in and I have tears but no sobs. He's rough and I feel sore already. The pain is nice and it's also nice someone is saying what I've been telling myself. There's no tiring confusion from people telling me what I know is false. When he says "no one will ever love you" I find it refreshing.

I feel his belt hit my back in time with his thrusts. My back is bleeding but it's what I deserve, I'm nothing. I shouldn't complain he noticed, no picked me out of everyone. I was someone to him when he saw me.

"Your so tight" , my back is bleeding.

"This is the only way you'll look beautiful", i feel numb.

"Look your hard" he laughs as I fall onto the floor. I nod a reply. I am glad he reminded me like all those before him.
----------sunrise--------------
I'm still on the concrete but I don't feel the need to cry this time. I'm glad usually I have a panic attack about what they say. I guess I got used to the truth.

Which way is home? Whatever I still need to put clothes on. I'm surprised my clothes are intact. My butt hurts as I stand up to pull up my pants. How will I walk home? I still don't know where I am.