La Reina | The Story of Melanie Kavitz

tryouts

i'm so so so so so sorry i'm over a month late.
i've had this chapter ready forever but i couldn't find it in my gut to post it because i kept reinventing scenarios.

btw - a massive congratulations to leo for his seventh ballon d'or. and my hats off to lewa for his amazing season and for being one of the best players in the world and an amazing sportsman. the world is a better place with these two! 🤍🤍🤍

...

"I can't do this."

My first game. Franklin High vs Glover Cleveland. My first time showing my face to a crowd of people in the stands. News of my partaking in the Franking High football team spread across the city like wildfire. My uncle telephoned my parents at least three different times to inform them of the poor lapse of judgement they've made allowing me to do something so 'ludicrous'. Family friends and neighbours kept trying to discourage their sons - my teammates - from continuing to stay on the team. The teachers in Franklin High no longer looked at me the way they used to. I felt as if I lost my sense of respect when I decided to follow my heart.

I was the only one in the female locker room, and I was huddling behind the door in absolute fear. My jersey fit onto me snug, but it felt like seven tonnes of added, painful weight. I brought my knees closer to my chest as I pressed my back against the exit. My team was waiting for me... and I was here. Wallowing. Not knowing what to do, or how to snap out of whatever it is that was crowding my head.

I had nobody to talk to - nobody who would understand the horror streaming through my brains. All that was going through my head was how everyone was going to look at me - better yet, look down upon me. I expected this judgement - this harassment... and I put myself there. I put myself in that position.

I lied when I said I would be able to handle this. I couldn't. I wasn't strong. I wasn't brave enough for this.

"I can't..."

"Melanie?"

"I can't go out there."

"Melanie."

"I can't do this."

"Melanie? Are you alright?"

My head immediately jerked to awaken me, and my eyes fell onto Bradley - who had concern drawn over his face. It took me a moment too long to figure out what had just happened, and I didn't know how to recover. "Yeah. Sorry. What were you saying?"

"The players who were called up for the two friendly matches are going to head back for another two weeks before the next international break. If and when you get through, you'll be ready for call up for our first round of World Cup qualifiers."

"Okay..." If and when. World Cup Qualifiers. I didn't know where to even begin to think. It was as if my dream-come-true was hitting me at a speed of a hundred miles per hour, and I had no time to react to any of the events unfolding before my eyes.

Bradley and I had been waiting just inside the training grounds, and I was able to peek out the windows to see the players training with two of the national team assistant coaches. While familiar faces were supposed to bring one a feeling of comfort, seeing those faces in particular spiked my anxiety. Clint Dempsey, Tim Howard, Michael Bradley, Landon Donovan... and the list goes on. Kicking, dribbling, sprinting, passing, scoring. The best of the best displayed in front of me. This was the team all of our families would root for despite knowing our efforts would amass to nothing. This was the team that didn't have the support they needed to flourish, grow and be ambitious. Because of that... our country fell and fell on the tables of the World Cup Qualifiers until we were left to fight for our lives in this last round.