Flashbacks

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I'm in my room playing with my stuffies while sucking on the paci dada bought me for my birthday. God, I wish dada wasn't at work.

As I'm playing i get this really bad, uncomfortable feelking. The only time i ever feel like that is when i have a flashback.. i regress so i dont have to deal with flashbacks, yet here I am. I know dada's at work but hes the only person that can calm me down right now.

i struggle to pull up his number on my phone before calling him as tears stream down my face.

"hey- baby whats wrong? talk to me. I'm here," dada answers on the third ring and immediately knows somethings wrong.

"dada.." I whimper, unable to form a complete sentence, 

I hear him tell his manager he has to go. 

"I'm coming little one. I'll be there in five minutes. Listen, where are you?" he says, softly.

I struggle to breathe as i tell him im in my rom. i put the phone down on the bed as im shaking so much i can barely hold it.

"ok baby girl, stay there. youre safe. listen, youre so strong. youll get through this. stay on the phone, ok?" he says.

"o..otay dada...i sowwy i sowwy i sowwy..." i cry.

I feel bad that im making him come home early for my own problems.

"no sweetie, please dont be sorry. its ok. my baby girl is struggling. that matters more than my job. jobs are replacable, you arent. I'm almost home darling," he says.

i wait for him to get home while curled up in a ball, sobbing while sucking on my paci and rocking myself back and forth.

dada walks into the room not to much later and i look up at him in tears.

"oh baby...shh come here. I got you, dadas got you. its ok, its over now," he says softly, scooping me up into his arms.

i grip onto him shaking, burying my face in his shoulder.

"dada..." i whimper, starting to breathe heavily as i can feel the entire scene happening again.

dada rubs my back as he gently rocks us from side to side.

"Shhh baby breathe. hes not here. ill protect you as long as I live little one. i promise. shhh, breathe," he says.

my eyes go wide as i start to see it happen. i guess he notices.

"No no no, baby look at me. tell me what you did last night while you were supposed to be sleeping," he says, trying to distract me.

he can see the fear in my eyes and i know its hurting him. he hates seeing me in pain and scared. 

"i..we had a tea pawty...an den we watched movies....dada...pease make it stop," I whimper not even able to think straight, 

"shh baby, youre safe. youre not there. youre here, with me," he says,

my vision goes and i black out in his arms. i wake up to dada playing with my hair.

"I sowwy," I say.

"No shhh its ok. thats what im here for little one," he says.

ok so this one was sort of based off me. I regress because of something that happened when i was 5 and i now have to deal with flashbacks and regression is the only way i dont have to deal with them but sometimes i do have a flashback in little space and my caregiver is really good about making sure im ok and comforting me. there was one time i did pass out during a flashback, we were at his house, and i was watching him play minecraft in his room and any way the flashback happened and he sat me down on his bed and not too long after, I passed out. 

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