Glacial Passion

Chapter eleven*

"If you could do anything you wanted to, what would it be?"

We're laying in bed; the hazy morning sunlight floods Sirius's living room, causing everything to be bathed in a golden hue. Regulus has his arms around me with my back pressed firmly to his chest as he slowly rubs circles against my hipbone. This moment of closeness feels exactly how our relationship felt in Cork, with this warm and protective Regulus holding me as close as possible. If I could have my way, these moments would last forever. Endless sunny mornings in bed with my husband, without a care in the world.

If we're able to, I hope we can cultivate a life together where moments like this exist every morning. Having a life that has a dreamlike quality will require quite a bit of healing for both of us. I'm very aware that work will have to be put in from both of us to reach this happy beginning, but I don't think there's another soul I would rather go through the battles with. In many ways, Regulus had harder and steeper hills to overcome as his childhood appeared to be rougher than I originally assumed it had been. I couldn't compete, nor did I want to, with some of the horrific instances Regulus and Sirius had gone through within our community and with their parents. I feel thankful for the first time for my upbringing.

No, my parents hadn't been superb; usually, they fell short compared to my friend's parents, who seemed to love their children stronger and with more empathy. But, never had either of my parents cast a hex upon me or laid a hand upon me, and for that, I can't help but feel grateful. Even though physically abusing one's children was honestly the bare minimum a parent could do.

Walburga and Orion were inexusable parents. No, they didn't even deserve the words 'mum and dad' to be attached to their identity at all. They were failures of human beings for the way they continue to treat their sons.

Due to our gradual opening up to one another, I felt closer to Regulus. He was the first person in a long time to care to listen to me. Our relationship holds a sort of mutual understanding that I only hope will strengthen with time and communication. I want to be the person that Regulus can turn to if an old emotional wound begins to act up. Moving past the title of wife, and being his confidant and the person he can rely on to have his back, is what I hope he can grow to see me as.

I want to laugh, thinking that I all but hated him when we were married. My heart has become increasingly soft towards Regulus, and I want to see him grow emotionally. I want to tend to those unseen wounds and be a source of constant comfort for him. And in return, I hope he'll want to be the same way for me.

Life is incredible with its twists and turns. You never see affection coming out of the woodwork when you meet someone.

Regulus hugs me tighter, whispering against my ear, "what do you mean?"

"I mean... is there something you've wanted to do in life that seemed impossible or maybe even foolish? Like, for example, I've always wanted to run away and live amongst the Muggles. Completely giving up magic and doing something like-- running a little store or something."

Regulus chuckles behind me, "I can't say I've ever thought up something like that."

"No? No unfinished or forgotten dreams? How is that possible?" I take his hand in mine, threading our fingers together and placing our hands back on my ribcage. The soft sounds of his breathing are all I hear for a few minutes, as I assume he's thinking for a dream he's long forgotten.

"For a long time," Regulus starts, "I was only the second son, so maybe I did have some ideas in line with that little freedom... but once Sirius left, all the burden of being the heir fell to me and squashed any fanciful thinking. If I had any grand dreams, I have forgotten them by now."