Uzi, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.
N: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!
Uzi, with the tone of someone who is used to N: Outstanding.
Uzi: This is what I'm talking about people.
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N: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside
Uzi:
Uzi: N, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...
N: *Sips coffee from bowl*
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Uzi: Fuck.
N: We've got to work on your cursing.
Uzi: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.
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Uzi: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.
N: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
Uzi: Absolutely not.
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Uzi, tending to N's wounds: How would you rate your pain?
N: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.
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J: V was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.
V: Well, they shouldn't say "all you can eat" if they don't mean it.
J: V, you ate a chair.
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Uzi, pointing: May I sit there?
N: That's my lap
Uzi: That doesn't answer my question, N.
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V: *Accidentally hits J in the face*
V: *Trying to decide between saying 'I'm fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*
V: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!
J: What's wrong with you?!
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Uzi: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
N: You and me!!!
Uzi, tearing up: Okay.
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J: We need a distraction.
N: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
V, whispering: My time has come
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N: Come on, I wasn't that drunk last night.
J: You were flirting with Uzi.
N: So what? She's my partner.
J: You asked her if she were single.
N:
J: And then you cried when she said she wasn't.
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Store Worker: Would a Ms. Uzi please come to the front desk?
Uzi, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker: points to N and V
Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?
YOU ARE READING
A Collection of Murder Drones Fanfics
FanfictionI think the title's pretty clear. I just wanna write a few oneshots, maybe a few somethings else, about murder drones.
