The Nun and King

Chapter 9

"She came in the night and gave me a fright, asked 'Where your dear wife be?'"

"It was then I saw she wore only a shiv and then I smiled with glee."

Our voices carry with ease through the sparse pines and have for the past half hour. By the look on the woman's faces I can tell that they don't particularly care much for or bawdy songs, but they have not asked us to stop. Grinning at the final stanza, I toss my head back and belt out the words with my men.

"I says 'She's out making her rounds, she won't be back till morn'"

"She dropped her clothes gave me a wink before she polished my horn,"

"She spanked me twice she spanked me thrice, till my bum was red,"

"We tussled in the sheets and then dirtied up the bed,"

"I gave her a coin as the sun arose but then the wife came in,"

"She threw the whore out the door and kicked me in my shin,"

"While on my knees her hands in mine I promised it'd happen never again,"

"But later that night the woman returned and we had a tankard of gin"

"One by one she unbuttoned her dress and I told her about me wife,"

"If she were to find out then she'd surely take me life,"

"She frowned and said without more coin she'd never leave out the door,"

"Dug in my pocket, coughed up two shillings but the whore wanted more,"

"A few days later now here I am with an itch that won't go away,"

"If my wife finds that I broke my vow my knob she will spay"

After the last lyric was sung the men laughed out loud, some giving a whistle before picking up another tune and I shake my head, amused.

"Where do you hear of such things?" Claire asks me as my mare steps around a limb that has fallen over the old dirt path.

"Can't really say. Most are passed on from one man to the next," I reply, shrugging. "I apologize for the lyrics but you have to admit that the tune is catchy." Looking back, I see that her face seems perplexed as she purses her lips.

"There are other tunes men can sing that aren't so...improper," she suggests. "I know it's not my place to tell you what to do, of course—or yours to even listen for that matter—but the entire thing was just so...sinful."

Her immediate response rubs me the wrong way but I remind myself to see where she is coming from and understand. "This is true, but aside from a man cheating on his wife I don't see what is so wrong that would be considered a sin. Is a man not allowed to enjoy the company of a woman for an evening or two? We're humans after all, sex is natural. If not then the world would have ended long ago."

I feel her body stiffen against my back and I know I've made her far too uncomfortable. "It's not the act of...sex that is a sin," she beings, the word sounding foreign on her tongue as if it were something only uttered in secret, "God gifted it to us to be enjoyed within the bounds of marriage, not casually amongst people we hardly know. He commanded that we are to abstain from all sins of the flesh and treat our bodies as a temple. As a Christian, we are supposed to save that gift for our future spouse."

"Why? Sex is fun—even the awkward parts," I respond. "Don't get me wrong, I too believe it can be special when shared with someone you truly care about—and that there is a difference between making love with someone you care about and just bedding a random barmaid. But wouldn't someone prefer a spouse who at least knows the basics of satisfaction?"