Nightmares of Caitlin Lockyer

Part 29

29

"Time to change your dressings. Let's see how you're healing up!" Nurse Carol sounded more cheerful than I'd ever heard her. I wondered if it was because Caitlin was awake, or whether the shapely nurse'd had a hot date the night before. It sure hadn't been a night with me.

Caitlin's eyes on the nurse showed her relief. "Hi, Carol. Of all the wards to bring me to, I ended up here."

Carol's voice was brassy-bright. "Of course. We had to fight for you, but we traded a couple of sporting injury patients to the other wards to keep you."

Caitlin coughed out a painful little laugh. My throat ached in sympathy. "You just wanted fewer names to learn at handover."

"You know it. Actually, while you were asleep there have been some very interesting men in the ward keeping guard over you. I almost thought about asking them to pull out their weapons…" Carol blushed as she said it. Her eyes travelled to me and quickly looked away. I wondered if she included me as one of those interesting men.

"I have guards?" Caitlin asked, her eyes widening.

Oh shit. Hadn't I told her? I struggled to remember, amid all the things I'd said to her while she was asleep and in the brief time she'd been awake. I couldn't remember if I'd told her that her room was guarded.

"Sure, a different police officer every day, like some sort of desk calendar. They make sure you don't have any unwelcome visitors. Plus…" Carol's gaze strayed to me and Caitlin's followed.

I stared into Caitlin's eyes for a moment, wishing I could work out what she was thinking, but I didn't know her well enough for that. The depths of these windows into her soul were dark to me. I sighed and looked away first.

"I thought you had a new man, Scott. How does he stack up against the desk calendar guys, or is he out of the picture now?" Caitlin asked.

Oh, the hot Singaporean nurse has a boyfriend. I bet I could've made her forget him easily, if I'd tried. A pity that I hadn't. Inwardly, I shrugged.I had enough to think about. The nurse wasn't a priority.

"I'm still with Scott, but that doesn't mean I can't look…" Carol cleared her throat. "So, where do we start?"

"What does it matter? I guess it's time for me to see what they've done to me," Caitlin said, sounding resigned.

I heard the sound of adhesive gauze parting from skin and stared fixedly out the window. The strong smell of disinfectant stung my eyes. There was a small spider in a dense web in the corner, its legs and underside up against the glass. I tried to count every leg, every joint…

"Oh hell. That looks bad," Caitlin struggled to say.

My eyes darted to her. She stared down at her lap and I caught a glimpse of the mess the bullet had made of her leg.

"A skin graft over that would help hide the scar," Nurse Carol said gravely.

Caitlin's voice sounded weak. "But where would you take the graft from? Everywhere is…" Her voice faded as the tears took over.

I crossed the room, hesitating as I approached her. I didn't want to see that leg wound, but I didn't want her to cry, either. Shit, now that she was awake, it wasn't as simple as before. She might not even want me here.

Carol looked up at me a moment, before her eyes returned to Caitlin. "Hey, that's the worst of your wounds. The rest are healing up nicely. You'll see." She worked to cover the bullet wound up again as I watched. The next piece of gauze the nurse removed uncovered a series of shallow cuts that looked like someone had tried to carve letters into her leg. Now that they were healing, I could see the shapes of the scars.

I swallowed, trying not to say anything. How could they…I gritted my teeth so hard it felt like I'd break them. I didn't relax until the nurse smoothed a dressing over her leg.

I breathed again, sure the wound on her other thigh couldn't be worse. My eyes flew to it, expectantly. Nurse Carol ripped the dressing off.

"Oh God," I burst out before I could stop myself. I could feel my jaw lock open, too horrified to close.

Both of the girls regarded me with consternation. Caitlin lifted her arms up, as if she was considering asking for a hug. Her hospital gown showed the dark, damp splotches where her tears had landed. Darker blue on blue. I didn't wait for her to ask, rushing the last few steps to comfort her.

I squeezed my own eyes shut as she cried into my shirt.

Plastic and paper crackled as Nurse Carol covered up the livid letters that spelled CHRIS in jagged lines across Caitlin's thigh, matching the crossed-out ALANNA on her other leg.