Short stories

Ugh dont post ever welp i posted it

Life hurts a whole lot more when I would think of him. I did so much to make myself forget about him. I mean, Madelyn, Arlyn and m Eleanor can all vouch that I did anything to get him off my mind. When I thought of his name, I did five pushups. I woke up at 5am and sprinted down the streets in my pajamas, not enough motivation to put on actual clothes but enough energy to force my lungs to take up so much room in my brain begging for air that his name was a distant memory.

I threw myself into my schoolwork. I never got below a 93 and when I did, I studied harder. I read so much I got lost in my own mind. I still texted him, I knew he had blocked me so it wouldn't matter. I listened to music to drown any thoughts I could think, until I was nothing but a rhythm and a melody. There were no lyrics.

There were no words for that type of pain.

I really was surprised I had survived it. I was surprised I was able to function enough to smile at my parents and convince my friends I was fine. I was surprised I didn't hit the ground every time a piece of orange paper crossed in front of my eyes.

I avoided his entire town, I ran away from him if I saw him. I made it easy to forget me. I wonder if he knew how hard he made it on me?

How I would go to the library hoping for an escape only to see one of his friends and start crying? Or how every time I heard any song he showed me I hit the floor in tears. I had to take out every song from my playlist he ever commented on.

Arlyn told me not to give him so much power. She deleted his photos and his messages. She blocked him on everything, for me. She told me I was better.

But I wasn't. And I couldn't be. Not without him.