EAT.

NINE

Trigger warning: Disordered eating, self harm, depression

He doesn't move. Maybe if he ignores them, they'll go away. The longing is heavy now. In a moment of weakness, he lifts his shaking hand and opens the door. They pull it wide and he sees finally who it is: CC. Andy looks away again. His face is sticky with tears and he wants to sleep.

Without a word, CC closes the door and walks around the car, where he opens the passenger door and gets in. He observes the singer for a moment before speaking, and he says, "What's going on, man? Why're you crying?"

Andy closes his eyes and shakes his head. Don't say a word! Don't say a word, for the love of God!

CC's brows are furrowed. "You look ill," he says.

"No, I...I'm fine," Andy mumbles. His voice is wrecked.

"Sure you are." The drummer sighs. "Look, we're all worried about tour, you don't need to hide in here to cry about it. Cry with us, man, we want to know when you're upset."

Andy covers his face with his hands.

"C'mon, what's wrong? Are you sure you aren't ill? You're so pale."

He shakes his head and keeps his face covered.

"I'm worried about you, Andy. You've been so on edge since we started rehearsals."

"I'm fine."

"Andy, come on. I'm not stupid."

"CC, I'm fine."

He sighs again and shakes his head. "Look. I get if you'd rather talk to someone else about it, but sitting in here, it's not going to help. You spend so much time alone now, it's not right. I miss you. We miss you."

"CC..."

"It's okay to be going through something, but you can't just expect it to fix itself if you don't tell someone."

"I'm fine."

"Andy, stop. Stop it. No, you're not. Look at you. You're shaking." CC puts his hand on the man's shoulder. "I care about you, man, and you're worrying me. I've never seen you like this. I was stood there watching you sob for ten minutes. Something's wrong. Please just tell me what's going on. You can't carry on singing after so much crying."

"CC, please..."

"Talk to me, Andy."

Andy has started to cry again into his hand. The sound causes CC to soften his voice.

"Something's wrong, I know it is. I've seen you on the edge of tears for weeks now, I've heard how you get choked up when we do Saviour, I just want to help you. I'm worried about you." He gets no reply. "Just because you're the front-man doesn't mean you can't reach out, and I know we've all be so focussed on the tour that we haven't exactly been the most easy to talk to, but surely you must know that if you need someone, we're all here, Andy, and we all care about. So much. None of us would be doing this without you, you're important to us. So when something's wrong, we want to know about it."

The younger shakes his head and wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. His ribs hurt, and he restrains from saying anything because he fears the moment he opens his mouth, it'll all come out.

CC looks at the water sliding down the windscreen and then at his lap. "I've never seen you like this, Andy." He shakes his head, saddened at the idea of the singer being in such emotional turmoil. "I'm going to get you a hot chocolate," he decides. "And then when I come back, please talk to me. Or I can get someone else if you'd rather?"