Crack on Titan

Cooking Horseface (BEARCAKES :D)

Jean: Hey everyone~! Horseface here! Today my boyfriend and I will be making bearcakes! 

Armin: *Kawaii-desu girly laugh*

*Cooking Jean emblem*

Armin: Our other assistant isn't here because he's dead.. (*sobbing*)

Jean: The only thing you're going to need for this is some pancake mix and a bear pan.. If you don't have those then I dont know what to tell ya..

Armin: *condescending yet kawaii sequence of laughter*

*insert transmission while they measure two cups of bisquick into a bowl*

Jean: Now, grab your milk. *pours in the milk*

Next, you're gonna take two small, cute eggs and just...

Armin: SMASH THEM TOGETHER 

*smashes the shizzle out of them and pours the contents into the bowl while smiling kawaii-ly*

And mix them into your bowl :D

Jean: Now, because I'm lazy and I have my lovely boyfriend here he's gonna take his weird wirey instrument thingy and mix the pancake mix together. Yum yum yum, mix mix~ And mix that shizzle into the kix! Yum yum yum, mix them eggs! Yes yes yes yes, yes ma'am! *insert rambles while Armin mixes*

*The batter gets mixed*

Boom boom bam, hot dayum

Jean: Now this is where it gets tricky!

Armin: Listen up, bitch

Jean: *holds up bear pan and a skillet* You're gonna need this pan, and this pan in order to make your bear cakes.. So when the bear side is done you can just flip it onto the skillet.. Lets get started~!!! 

Now make sure to heavily oil this skillet, with whatever natural oil you have.. It could be natural hair grease *rubs hand on Armin's hair and then rubs it on the pan* Or some vigin olive oil. Its nice and virgin, like so nobody's ever *BLEEEEEEPED* it or anything...

So that way when you make your bearcakes it doesn't stick to the pan and get all crusty and busted and lookin' nasty.. So... GREASE IT UP *voice pitch increases*

Armin: Since my boyfriend's incompitent, I'm going to be making the bearcakes.. Before we get started, add a drop of pancake mix as an offering TO SATAN *Jean lets out a shrill screech when the pan catches on fire*

Now that your offering to Satan has been accepted, now you can continue making your bearcakes! Just, pour some batter in there.. *pours the batter in the bear pan*

Jean: Now, you'll know if its ready if the sides are golden or you smell it burnin'.. Armin, I smell it burning..

Armin: *sigh* Alright, now time to transfer it to the skillet.. *flips it onto the skillet*

Now, just repeat the process~! Since your offering to Satan has already been accepted, you don't have to redo that.

*pancake gets flipped onto the skillet*

Jean: Oooh, that ones nice and black..

Armin: LIKE MY SOUL *Jean screeches like a girl again*

Jean: Now you have an assortment of gold, brown, and black bearcakes! Mmmm~ Oh, so delicious~ Get in my mouth.. All the bearcakes! Mmm~ Goin' south.. *Armin looks at Jean like he's on crack* 

Armin: And you're finished~!!!

DELETED SCENE XDDDDD

Armin: *pours a drop into the pan* *pan catches on fire*

Jean: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *girly scream* Okay I'm not sure if that was supposed to happen.. Holy *BLEEEPING* Wall Maria!! Oh my daaaayum... WHOOO! We're going Iron Chef up in this bitch!

Armin: *rolling on the floor dying laughing*

sorry i swore... oopsies... CREDIT TO MILES JAI, MY SENPAI FOR LIFE ;v; GO MILES!