A Shattered Mind

Discovery

As strange as it might seem, he was the original. He was all of us and yet, none of us. He was the beginning and if we don't be careful, he will be the end of us all. Nero started out as any other happy little child. Sure, he had some quirks, but that just makes it all the more heart breaking. As a child he had to endure a lot of hardships and yet instead of splintering off like the rest of us would do in a heartbeat, he stuck around. He allowed us to splinter off, keeping our innocence intact and our outlook positive. No one realized that he stuck around for the brunt of the force that was dealt and that the splinters he allowed to remain innocent chipped away at his own self, reducing him to what he has become today. The embodiment of Rage and aggression. All the aspects that we rejected he got left with and he has become our red eyed demon in the closet. I was created in this same manner. Will and I were the first to notice each other as everything and everyone else slipped by unnoticed. It was I who created his cage and managed to lock him in place for as long as we have. Only sometimes failing to keep him from reaching through the grates of the locked gate. My name is Alexis and I took charge of this host early on. I am the protector of right and wrong and the keeper of logic and reason. Whenever the host would encounter extremely stressful situations, it would be my job to keep a level head and provide a solution that would please everyone. I've been fronting this host the longest between all of us and most of my time is spent keeping Nero at bay.

One of my earliest failures happened back when our host was about 10 or eleven back in 2005. I was out at the front, enjoying a beautiful summers day running around with my friends and playing on the school grounds. We were happy that day and I will always be ashamed of how I lost control that day. It started with a familiar voice in my ears, my friend telling off some guy who was a little too interested in her. I thought this was my chance, I could play the hero and save this damsel from the monster pestering her. I approached this foul creature and uttered my line "She told you to leave her alone!". The monster reared up not expecting to be foiled in his plans. "can't you take a hint" was the next line being provided to me as if by a Shakespearean writer of a play. I don't remember if I lost some time at that moment as it feels like I'm missing some details of this story, but the next line uttered was by my friend, taking center stage. "Stop being jealous, no-one asked you, can't you just keep your nose out of it?". I was confused, logic did not comply in this scenario and this was the kink in my armor, the weak point in my defense, not against the world, but against Nero. He was already stronger than all of us combined and at that stage I believed it was just me and him. Tried as I might, I could never face off against him alone. The way I caged him in the first place was at his weakest point. And I had to use all my trickery to get him locked down. What I couldn't understand was, me playing the hero has turned the entire script against me and suddenly I was the leper in the crowd everyone rushed to get away from. I tried taking a reasonable approach and told my friend that I did not understand. She only proclaimed that I was still a child and was too young to understand and that I should stay out of her business and leave her alone. I couldn't accept the fact that there were still things in this world that I did not understand and had to have the answer. I was extremely stubborn and pestered her trying to beg her to explain what was happening. As this put her more and more in distress the original monster was cast as the protagonist in our little play and as scripted like before he stepped in between me and my friend. All alarms went off in the command station. Our friend was in trouble and we had to save her. An obstacle was preventing us saving her and the logic did not comply. I tried reasoning with this guy who was 2 years older than me and captain of the school rugby team. A large boy for his age almost dwarfing my own weak demeanor in our stand-off. I asked him to step out of my way in order for me to get to my friend, he refused. I asked politely, even making sure that I was saying please, yet again, he refused. I felt Nero clawing at the gate as the metal buckled under his power, hinges moaning at the force it had to endure. A third time I asked this gentleman to make way in order for me to apologize to my friend and set everything straight. "Don't you get it?" he exclaimed. "She doesn't like you; she doesn't want you near her. Get the fuck away from her now" followed by a push to the shoulder was the last thing I experienced before looking back and seeing Nero break free. He lunged forward knocking me out in the process. I was not conscious during this whole affair but with communication getting better and better over the years and with accounts from what our friends witnessed, I pieced the story together as follows.