I wish to see myself fumbling in solitude to crumpling under the weight of desires and aspirations.
I don't need anybody to love me unconditionally but rather to disgust and demotivate me.
I want my life to be in a state of grotesque mayhem with enormous plethora of disconsolation being splashed upon me.
I want my demons to manipulate my conscience and stab those angels who come to my aid.
I wish to be the antagonist of my own story and kill myself every time.
I want to see myself abashed, abused , broken, disheartened and traumatic.
I wish my soul was ripped apart root and stem with scissors of embarrassment, sardonic gestures and gruesome expressions.
i crave to bleed and cry and repent for every act of sinfulness for every time i've wronged people and for every time i've robbed them of their jubilance and joy.
I want to feel myself crestfallen and overwhelmed with sadness fillings buckets of blood, tears and glumming emotions.
I wish to be the flower that blooms amidst thorns and weeds.
i want them to pierce me at every step, plunge my face in the ocean of misery, slash me up with memories of agony, anguish ,distress and grief..
And yet for every time, i will find happiness in being tormented and
yet for every time I'll never unlove being grieved. .
