Many years pass, and IKEA lives a quiet life by the sea. He grunts as he chops down a tree. Suddenly, a flashing light blinds him, quickly dissapearing.
"What in the lord Samsung!" IKEA whispers.
IKEA quickens his pace and finds the red sea.
"Damn, what a load of period blood, am I right?" He remarks.
IKEA begins to hear strange, strange noises. The faint atmospheric comedy laughter faints away.
~
IKEA wakes up, handcuffed to a chair. He opens his eyes, unaware of his surroundings. He slowly life his head up and sees Jeff Bezos.
"Hm, aren't you a pretty thing? ...Shame. Give me the password to cocomelons lair, and you shall be on your way."
IKEA, dazzled, grunts at the idea.
"Oh lord samsung girl" Groans IKEA.
Jeff Bezos smirks. "Samsung girl won't be able to help you in a situation like this. It's your destiny."
"But what if I'm her dearest simp?" Beckons IKEA.
Jeff Bezos scoffs. "It's sad you think you're getting out of this mess, I'm ten steps ahead of you."
IKEA darts his eyes across the room, eyeing a spammer on a table.
"Co-operate, you'll be rewarded. Don't co-operate, and I'll kill you just like your mother." Bezos bargains.
"Y- W-what? YOU! YOU DID THAT? ALL THOSE YEARS AGO? FOR WHAT? REVENGE? S-she did nothing..." IKEA fumes. Bezos laughs and continues. IKEA struggles against the handcuffs of the chair.
"You won't get out of those, it's made out of strong material. Material that is kept a secret. And for your mother... I'm sorry. I know how it feels to lose a parent, I myself lost my dad. But seeing you're IKEA, I think sympathy simply falls out of the equation..."
IKEA, with his superior senses kicking in, starts to intervene this seemingly inescapable plan.
"Ah, so you're the super villian. The monster in the closet. The monster that killed my MOTHER!" IKEA shouts.
"Hmm, I suppose so. Supervillain I may not be if your going to co-operate..." Says Bezos.
IKEA thinks. If there was a way to escape he would attack, get the spanner to let him loose, and kill Bezos.
IKEA'S heart rate quickens. IKEA darts for the spanner, recreating the exact routine of Black Widow in the Avengers. Bezos, being startled, slips and lands on a knife conveniently located underneath him. Blood spurts all across the walls, painting the Mona Lisa. Ikea whips round to see a full size portrait of Cocomelon, pasted on a corkboard filled with red thread and pins, all across the globe. But something catches his eye. A small A5 battered piece of paper.
"H-her." Blurts Bezos, before grabbing the nearest gun and shooting himself.
IKEA stands in shock. He frees himself from the handcuffs slowly, and examines the lettering. He faintly makes out the word SAMCORP. He takes the peice of paper and the handcuffs, unlocks the door with the passcode 69420, and slowly paces out.
~
