Monsta X | Smut Collection

Beside You / Kyun

Falling in love with you was almost ridiculously easy for Changkyun. He thought, when he fell in love it would be nothing but trouble because he's an idol. Lots of compromises and fights and tears. But not with you. He fell in love with you so smoothly he barely noticed it. And even after months, after the honeymoon phase is long over, he's still head over heels for you. He loves you with heart and soul. It's as easy as breathing.

But these days Kyun feels horrible. Even though he's been working on his debut album for so long now, the upcoming release is stressing him out. A lot. Not only the weight of this on his shoulders - he also misses you. He misses you so much, it's almost unbearable for him. He can't even remember the last time he met you in person. Not over FaceTime but in real life. He spends night after night in his studio, takes a few naps when the tiredness overwhelms him. As often as possible he FaceTimes you. Your voice is so calming for him. Even though he loves having you in his studio, he knows you'd distract him. And you both don't want that. He wants to finish this as quickly as possible so this will finally have an end. Still, calling you or seeing you over video-chat never replaces the physical touch. The physical touch you both need more than anything in this world. He loves you for not complaining, for giving him time but not giving him the feeling that you don't care about him. Somehow you find the perfect balance between caring and being too clingy. He was scared of that, scared that you might not being able to handle his work habits, that you feel neglected, that you wouldn't understand his passion for his music.

He likes to drown in his work, he likes to be alone, and somehow it's so nice to see you're the same. But all this doesn't keep him away from missing you. Every damn second.

He's just about to open the bottle of whiskey when he stops and takes a deep breath. You don't like it when he drinks so much. It kind of became a habit lately. And even though you probably would never find out, he still closes the bottle again and puts it aside. You're right. He's drinking too much. His gaze wanders to the clock. 2 am. He feels exhausted, tired, drained out... and if he has to sleep another night on this couch, he might lose his mind. So he turns off his computer, gets up, and drives home.

As carefully as possible, so he won't wake up the others, he opens the door to their dorms. His stomach screams with excitement as he sees Ki's leftovers for him. Smiling he heats them up before he sits at the table and dials your number.

"Please be awake...", he whispers at his phone, longing to see your face, even if you're sleepy and not in the mood to talk. He needs to see your face. Your soft smile, your heavy eyes.

"Please baby, pick up!", he almost begs but you don't seem to hear it, probably asleep. Of course. It's almost three. Sighing he locks his phone and eats. He asks himself if you're still happy. If you still love him the way you used to. Well you do, he knows that, but you barely see each other lately and he knows how needy you are for his touch. Not even in a sexual way but in a way of closeness. He knows how much you need it cause he's the same. And how he misses your scent, your soft breath, your drowsy murmurs. Gloomy he empties his bowl and puts it in the sink. He needs to make this up to you somehow. He needs to make clear that his feelings for you didn't change, on the contrary, not being able to see you for such a long time made him even more aware of how much he needs you. How much he misses you. How much he loves you. And as soon as all of this is over he will dedicate every single second to you. And only you. You deserve this for being such an amazing human being. Tired, he walks into his room and takes off his clothes without turning the lights on. Every muscle in his body hurts. Confused, he raises his head as he notices...

"Fuck...", he whispers and feels like bursting into tears when he sees you lying in his bed, deeply asleep in his shirt. "Oh, babe..."

Carefully he climbs into the bed and lays his arm around you, pulls you closer, and nuzzles his face into the back of your neck. Gosh, he missed you. And you smell so good. It's almost like all the stress and all the sorrow just drops off and he pulls you even closer. He knows he might wake you up like this but holding you and kissing you and touching you right now is more important. He hears you taking a deep breath and feels you moving.

"Baby?", you mumble sleepy, and grab for his hand around you and kiss it gently.

"I'm so sorry, babe...", he whispers and watches you, longing. "I'm so sorry for neglecting you... I just..."

"Hush, babe. It's okay...", you mumble and move even closer, hold his hand tighter. "You're here now. That's all that matters!"'

Kyun's heart almost explodes at your words but he knows it's not okay. Cause if it would be okay, you wouldn't come all the way to the dorms to sleep here. In his bed. While he is gone. He wonders how many times this has happened in the past weeks without him knowing about this.

"I love you...", he whispers into your ear and kisses it gently. "I love you so much! Thank you for being here!"

A soft, sleepy chuckle escapes your throat and you turn your head. "I love you too..."

With a beaming smile, Kyun leans in and kisses your lips softly before watching you close your heavy eyes again. Even though he's so damn tired he can't even think about sleep right now. Smiling he caresses your hand with his thumb, watches you wrinkling your nose in your sleep, and resists the drag to kiss your gorgeous face cause he doesn't wanna disturb your sleep. There are millions of things he would like to say. But he's not much of a talker and he kind of needs this moment to admire you, to engrave every single detail of your face into his mind. That face he was longing to see for so long now.

"I'll make this up to you...", he whispers so low it's almost impossible for himself to hear, and kisses your cheek tenderly. "I promise!"

With these words, he nuzzles his face back into your neck, holds you tightly, and listens to your soft breaths. He can't even put into words the happiness he feels at this moment. Still smiling, he kisses your neck firmly before he slowly drifts into sleep, already knowing this will be the best fucking night in weeks...