Thus, I emerged

strong

People often tell me they're amazed by how strong I am. Today I realized, I don't really believe them anymore

I took those words with grace, wore them like armor.

No, no one's ever going to step over me. Yes, I know my worth. 

Was all a sweet lie to make myself and those around me feel better.

Everything that has happened to me shaped me into the person I am. My flaws and weaknesses included.

But, the smallest things piss me off, break me, dig deeper in the wounds that don't tend to heal whatsoever.

Time doesn't fix anything. Time only disappoints me everytime. The hurt sticks.

No, it doesn't make me go numb. No, it doesn't grant me the magical ability to handle situations better.

It takes a huge toll on my mind and my body. It overflows, unhealthy. It just teaches me to stay put, lay back and watch it all crumble. That's the only thing I got better at.

In fact, I simply become more miserable and unbearable, more hateful. I don't pick up all the torn pieces and put them back together. No glue in the world is capable of that. Instead, I face them. 

And it scratches. Over and over and over again. Never ending truly. 

What do I do in the meantime? I stand back. Letting everyone and everything walk over me. Not even having the courage to end it all.

Honestly, I'm the weakest person I know.