"It's really sad that I have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party," Phil saids looking at the two very disappointed agents.
"Why not, Clint questions, and Phil gives him a look that saids "bitch you know why not."
Backing up all the way to July 7th, 2010 11:49 pm, 11 minutes before Phil's birthday. The party had gone very smoothly and since it was almost midnight all of the softies had gone home, which left only most of the senior agents and Phil's closest friends.
Maria, Melinda, Bobbi, and Laura (clints wife) were playing a very fierce game of uno, the intimidation was off the charts.
"What are you doing, Maria?" Bobbi asked as Maria starred at her without blinking.
"Shes starring into your soul." Melinda replied as she watched the woman not break her glance.
Maria smirks as she places down her card
"Draw four Bobbi"
Bobbi scoffs picking up four cards.
Over on the otherside of the room with coulson, hunter, and Sam Koenig were talking about the new helicarrier that was currently being built, Clint and Natasha were in the ceiling vents just talking and smoking, trying to be discreet but everyone could smell it and Fury was on the couch asleep still holding a beer bottle.
"Is he asleep?" Melinda asks pointing over to Fury.
"Or dead" Maria snorted.
He opens his eye but doesn't move his head to look at her. "I heard that" Fury grumbles.
It was now 11:54 and word got out that Clint may or may not have brought fireworks and firecrackers to the party so everyone took it to the streets. Lighting off the weakest of fireworks first until they got a bucket and put a bunch of strong ones in, but they were all too afraid to light it until Clint finally stepped up but his hands was so shaky that he couldn't light it. Finally fury came outside cause he was woken up by the sound. He saw Clint struggling so he walked up and took the lighter from his hand and lit it.
"Pussys" Fury yelled.
They set off exploding everywhere Clint had run as far as he possibly could away from it as everyone else found cover, there was one final kaboom before a wave of purple smoke washed over everywhere and a red liquid fell from the sky with a few chunks in it. Everyone froze still covered in the red liquid as the smoke cleared and their was still no sign of Fury.
Everyone had the exact same thought, are we covered in the Director's blood.
Finally a tall figure emerged from the smoke and everyone let out sigh of relief.
"First person to laugh is fired" Fury yells
"I was fired last week too" Maria burst out laughing.
"Well I'm re-firing you" Fury grumbled
"You look like a smurf." Maria pointed out.
"Who had the bright idea to put in smoke bombs with fire crackers?" Fury yelled.
"It's was an accident I dropped them" Clint called out to Fury.
"Imma drop you" Fury called right back, "and who had the bright idea to put jello in the box too?"
Natasha steps forward before she speaks "I wanted to catch the jello in my mouth as it fell from the sky."
"Everyone here is getting a physiological evaluation tomorrow, anyway happy birthday. Fury said looking at the terrified Agent.
Maria walks over and pokes his face, "I think we broke him."
A few days after that Fury was still blue, people started calling him papa smurf, well anybody who had balls as big as Tony starks ego anyway.
