Everything Sinister

Fifty-One

This isn't one of your fantasies Demont.

~LA

 You knew! And you didn't care.

~DL

You don't need to hurt anymore.

~SG

~

Isn't it strange that I have never realised you could see stars from the roof?

I have always stared down on the road, smoking cigarette's with the wind in my hair and I have been cursing the loud beats of Virgin's Doom. But I never looked up to the sky. Maybe I was scared of seeing angels.

But now I was lying on my back, staring at those twinkles like they were painted dots on the ceiling with no killer in my hand nor smoke in my lungs.

So maybe it wasn't so strange after all. I knew someone was texting me. The screen lit up next to me ever so often and if someone was flying over this city they might think I was trying to send a message with morse code. But no one sane would fly over it.

I didn't hear the steps even though they were as loud as scream despite the defeating music in the neighbourhood. As I said... with losing Demont, I lost a lot of things.

The person sat beside me and I didn't lookup.

"You are too old to be staying up so late," Sheila said. I turned my head to her. The girl was staring into the distance and the red lights of this sinister world reflected in her eyes. Her hair was free of braids and her coffee skin was clean of sweat and flour.

I didn't feel like answering. I looked up to the sky wordlessly.

"Maybe I am too young to be awake at four a.m..." Sheila said and her voice interrupted my lonely moment of longing for someone I could never have.

"But my mom won't answer her texts so, I'm worried."

I closed my eyes.

"You know, I always missed my parents. I wondered what they were like and if they'd be proud of me."

I clenched my fists on my chest.

"But she always made me feel like I was never going to be alone. She worried about me. And got so angry when someone hurt me. She fought for me. And took care of me. Even though most of the time she didn't know how to take care of herself."

I pulled my lips into a tight line.

"But that's my mom, you know. She's always in pain so other's don't have to suffer so much."

"You are not a monster." that deep voice said.

A tear rolled down my cheek and I drew in a shaky breath. I felt Sheila lay on my stomach and wrap her arms around me. I shook with her words that to this day echo in my heart. My little girl... so strong and resilient and yet so kind and so very, painfully brave.

"Of course, I miss my parents but you never made me feel like I don't have a family to miss, Elle," she whispered and my hand found its place in her soft hair.

Oh, my sweet little girl... I wish I could kiss her bloody fists right now.

~