A Christmas Carol

Sammy Scrouge

The Marleys were fucked to begin with. Winter was at its finest and cheer filled the air as the town filled with hustle and bustle. "One goose please!", "How's the wife?", "Did you hear the new Green Day album!?" The towns folk chatted and laughed all the while. This Christmas was sure to be the sexiest one of all.

However one man was not chatting and laughing all his way through the town. This man had a heart as cold as coal and as black as the sinders that fell from it. A bastard as flat as a bricks face. Sammy Scrouge. A man as rank and dank in her soul that the sheer certainty of it caused his water proof eye liner to run.

Sammy Scrouge paused outside her pensmens York share building. A single sign creaked in the Frosty breeze. "Marley" it showed with a dick etched over it cleary drawn in red lipstick. Sammy Scrouge knocked on the sign with her beating stick. However Sammy Scrouge was Vitimin everything deficit so the built up snow atop the sign didn't Budge. But Sammy Scrouge had god and anime on her side causing the snow to fall in defeat. Under the Snow it read "Scrouge Way"

"Merry Christmas dadd- I-i mean Sammy Scrouge!" Piped up the girl as Sammy Scrouge walked inside taking off his hat. "This is the 13th time this week you've called me daddy" Sammy Scrouge would frown a frowning frown. The girl would blush "Sorry Sammy Scrouge! Won't happen again" she would turn back to her writing desk quilling away.

The girl was Emily Cratchet a low class worker under Sammy Scrouge. Though the work building smelled of urine and tax evasion Emily Cratchet needed the money. "If I hear 'Merry Christmas' one more god damn mother fucking time I'm going to blast black parade" Sammy Scrouge whined as he sat at his desk counting his shillings. "I'm sorry sir we all know how broken you are :(" Emily Cratchet added before continuing her work.

Suddenly the bell would ring as the door swung open joyously. "Merry Christmas uncle Scrouge!" Said a dummy thicc specimen holding a dick confetti covered wreath. Sarah was Sammy Scrouges only living relative. A happy go lucky chap who loved this time of year. Sammy Scrouge would reach for the play button only to be stopped by Sarah. "Wait uncle! Before you have a break down I wish to ask of you if you'd like to attend me and my wife for dinner tomorrow night?" Sarah would step in front of Sammy Scrouges desk awaiting an answer happily.

"Dinner? As in a delicious feast?" Sammy Scrouge would widen his eyes. "Yes sir! With plum pudding and roasted goose!" Sarah would add on. "And gluten filled bread smothered in cranberry jelly?" Sammy Scrouge would lick his lips. "Yes! So you'll come?" Sarah would clasp her hands together excitedly. "No you dick twitch! I can't eat any of that shit you know I'm allergic to happiness! Bah Humbug!" Sammy Scrouge would press play on her not invented yet phone blasting her splice.

Sarah would sigh and turn for the door "Well Merry Christmas to you Uncle Scrouge." Sarah would hang the wreath on the door knob showing the sparkling shafts. "HUMBUG!" Sammy Scrouge would shout over the blasting emo shrills. Emily Cratchet would watch the defeated woman leave the roach Infested chamber. She could feel her fingers catching frost bite as she toiled away. She jumped off her high chair and stepped carefully over to the head banging emo who seemed to be working away at a new safety pin covered trouser set.

"Uhm- Excuse me Sammy Scrouge..?" Emily Cratchet would call out dodging the tears that fell from Sammy Scrouges eyes. "What is it Mrs. Cratchet!? Can't you see I'm built different???💔" Sammy Scrouge would turn down the mcr. "Well it's um it's freezing in here! My titty milk has frozen solid causing my shirt to have holes!" Her shirt indeed had holes 😏. "What of it!?" Sammy Scrouge would say wondering if the icicle tits would count as Popsicles. "Can't I add one more shovel scoop of coal to the fire? It'll do us both some good!" Emily cratchet would cover her tit ice some how knowing what was going on in Sammy Scrouges head.

"Piss off inbreeder and your ushy gushy tibbies" Sammy Scrouge would say covering one eye with his hair mysteriously. "Yes Sammy Scrouge. Sorry I bothered you my G" Emily Cratchet would go back to the high chair climbing up the ladder beside it. Sammy Scrouge continued counting his shillings moaning everytime ten more were added. "Can I at least have the day off tomorrow? It be Christmas and I was hoping for a festive wank session" Emily Cratchet would ask. "Fine but be here even earlier the next morning or I'm fucking you AND your wife >:("

The building now closed we find Sammy Scrouge walking the dark streets as the snow began to spew its dripping infection all around. He stopped at the door he came home to every night searching his pockets for the key. "Sammy Scrouuuuuuge~" A disembodied voice would moan in the wind. Sammy Scrouge would nearly jump out of his skin "W-whos there!?? Stay back!! I'm a lesbian!!" He would look around to find nobody wanted to sell him something.

"Sammy Scrouuuuge you whooooore" This time the voice was closer and Sammy Scrouge put his back to the door. The door would shreak and probably say a slur or two before Sammy Scrouge turned around to see a sexy face she knew all too well. "Liana Marley!? But y-you were killed after a bad bitch over dose??" Sammy Scrouge would look away for a second to turn back and find the face was gone.

Sammy Scrouge was now frightened and quickly went inside locking the door. Normally she never lit the lamps afraid the mold growing on the walls would scuttle away. Due to the sister startle he set fire to them and raced up the stairs locking the door behind him. After she was sure the cost was clear she put on her mayo stained sleep jeans and sat in his old piss filled maggot munching chair to eat sad crackers by the fire.

"Sammy Scrouuuuuuge~" Sammy Scrouge heard the voice again. Clunk Clunk Clunk. The sound of chains dragging outside the bedroom door. "Sammy Scrouuuuuuge~~" the small fire would go out and a deadly chill would rise. "Leave me be spirit!" Sammy Scrouge would say shrilly. "BITCH" The spirit of Liana Marley would pop up infront of Sammy Scrouge causing Sammy Scrouge to aneurysm. "The fuck...Why are your tits bigger?" Sammy Scrouge would look at the spirit judgmentally.

Liana Marley would slap Sammy Scrouge in the face with her ghostly tits. "Don't flatter me! I'm here to tell you that your a penny picking sleez and all that" Liana Marley would say lifting the ghostly chains that hug from her rack. "Wh-why are you caring those..aesthetically pleasing chains? Have you finally gone goth such as i?" Sammy Scrouge would say practically shitting herself. "These are the chains I've acquired when I was living as your sugar mommy" She would wiggle them too and frow.

"What?" Sammy Scrouge would say britishly "Are you here to tell me of my own?". "Your chains are far less aesthetic than mine and on the ends of them hold POP MUSIC ALBUMS!" Liana Marleu would say ambiently. "NOOOO! I CANT STAND NIKKI" Sammy Scrouge would scream to the beat of mama. "I've come to save you from this fate. Three spirit will visit you tonight to bring change" Liana Marley would point to the clock "once the clock stricks one the first spirit will rock your knockers".

"Wait Liana Marley!" The spirit would fade leaving Sammy Scrouge in the sweaty dark. "I think there was something in those sad crackers...other than myself🤪" Sammy Scrouge would lay down in her bed. "Bah Humbug" She'd Say before closing her Mascara clumped eyes.