A Christmas Carol

The Spirit of Christmas Present

The clock would strike two as Sammy scrouge awoke orbs glistening in the warm light that shone through his drapes and not the ones down stairs ;). She would say multiple spurs in many languages cause she knows Spanish or something bi lingual bitch. Mounds of food would fill the small room adding an aroma besides the piss and sweat  seeping from the stick on wallpaper.

"Come out sniveling little bastard and know me better man" the giant hot gorgeous sexy top would speak upon her giant pile of various festive foods. Sammy scrouge would gag at the food smell like a cat choking on a hair Ball. "Why tf did I have to be ASSAULTED by this hot gorgeous sexy top of a spirit!!" Sammy scrouge would shout as the spirit shrunk down to his size. "I said come and know me better man" the spirit would pull out the 9. The spirit had short hair and looked so hot, gorgeous, sexy, and top material.

"So what are you supposed to be? Lesbian went brunette elen?" Sammy scrouge would say breaking the time line once again. The spirit would sigh rolling their eyes as the swung out their torch aggressively. "I'm the spirit of Christmas present!! I'm here to tell you how much of an abhorrent non sexy hoe losing toe snoozing ebeny squeezing tit pleasing bug sucking rug fucking whore you are" each nasty syllable would fall from her mouth like poetry stunning the bottom.

Sammy scrouge would tremble "ok listen I'm way too fucking tired to be deal with some Christmas mumbo jumbo >:( in case you haven't heard I'm atheist and only believe in lil Nas not christ Mas. Why not satanmas where instead of giving I steal your mom's virginity twice." Sammy Scrouge really thought he did something with that quote but the spirit of Christmas present went on anyway.

"OK listen mjr Stan I'm here for one night and one night only so you better listen to my peace on earth shit or I steal your beloved wall mold >:(" The giant hot gorgeous sexy top would rasp. "Come it's time you actually get out of this house you rank hermit" The spirit would open the window shrinking down the Sammy Scrouges height. "God not the window again' Sammy Scrouge would say kicking a squash by her foot. The spirit would pick up the emo and throw them out the window.

Now with several broken bones sammy scrouge was hoisted up out of the snow by the scruff of his neck meat. "stop being a pussy! Its time to sister slay this night away" the gorgeous, hilarious, great style having spirit would take the flapping in the wind emo to their first stop.

The first stop was a beautiful house decorated with bright garlands and lamps. "now first lets look at the mormons" the spirit would throw the brocken man through the window like with the same physics as killer bean deaths (this is hilarious for people who have seen that movie). "ew it smells of holyness" the limp noodle would contort into his normal state of shrimp spine to look at the room.

"This is Sarah's house." the bastard would moan as she licked the wall to mark her territory. "yeah obviously. She has a huge statue of herself outside pointing to the bushes that were in the shape of her as well" sarah was funny like that. Sammy scrouge would hiss "I HEAR PEOPLE TAKE ME AWAY FROM THIS INFERNAL PLACE YOU BLEEDING HEART DAMNATION" sammy scrouge would claw at the curtains for release.

"jesus you gotta learn a lesson or smth from this idfk" the spirit would drag the whore by his stick leg giving him splinters from the floor. Entering the new room it was full of new people eating food and chatting with eachother. Sammy Scrouge could see her nephew Sarah who was making out with her hot wife.

Sarah would stop making out for just moment getting up "Lets play a game before i pound this flesh mound" she would wink at her scrumptious baddie. Sarah would start crying in a ball on the floor while screaming slippers. "Oh i know who that is!" one of the people in the room would say loudly. Sammy Scrouge would butt in "sounds like a loser lol idk who would do that" he would anime laugh. "Its that flatt assed Sammy Scrouge after reading a mediocre FanFic!!" the person would finish. Sammy Scrouge would crumble like paper "NOOOO ITS TRUEEE THE SLIPPERRSSS😫😭".